I realize it has been a busy news season in Washington of late, as the health reform debate enters its final phase. But I have to admit I was astonished to find out that last week, the House of Representatives impeached a federal judge -- only the fifteenth time this has ever happened in American history. The Senate just announced it will be convening a committee to investigate, and prepare for a trial before the full Senate.

Four articles of impeachment were approved last week against Judge Thomas Porteous, all of which passed the House unanimously. While the allegations of bribery and corruption stem from his activities before he became a federal judge, he's basically being charged with lying about them during his confirmation process before Congress.

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First off, Beannachtaí na Féile Pádraig!

For our non-Gaelic-speaking readers, Happy Saint Patrick's Day!

Saint Patrick, patron saint of Ireland, lived in the fifth century A.D., and he came to Ireland as a proselytizer for Christianity. That is about the sum total of the known, verifiable facts about Patrick. The rest is myth. Since such mythologizing began only a few hundred years after his death (which happened on March 17, by the way), these myths of Patrick are much more widely known than the thin shreds of his real history (which are limited to two surviving letters written by Patrick in Latin). Besides, it's much more fun to sit around telling these tales over a pint of Guinness than to dig up actual facts. Even if the tales are pure blarney.

There are many of these myths, from Patrick's supposed use of a shamrock to explain the mystical Christian Trinity (hint: three separate leaves make a single shamrock...), to the well-known story of Patrick banning all the snakes from Ireland. Everyone's heard the one about the snakes, right? And Ireland has no snakes today, therefore the story must be true.

Well... no.

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Texas and schoolbooks have both been in the news recently. Texas is currently rewriting its educational standards, which forces textbook manufacturers to rewrite their textbooks (if they want to sell them in the state). But, on the federal level, Barack Obama is rewriting "No Child Left Behind," and updating the federal education policy to improve it. Part of this effort was a call for what will essentially be a national standard for schoolchildren -- perhaps not quite a national curriculum, but certainly a move in that direction. Taken together, these two news items may produce a result which nobody (to my knowledge) has yet pointed out: textbooks, even in Texas, may get better as a result.

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The next two weeks in Congress may provide an answer to the metaphysical question "Can Democrats govern?" If the answer turns out to be "no," then a large part of the electorate is going to decide that it is pointless to bother electing large majorities of Democrats to Congress, because they simply can't get anything done when they get there. If the answer turns out to be "yes" (or even "kind of"), then Democrats may have a chance to make the case this fall that electing lots of Democrats is the way for the voters to go.

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Call it the calm before the storm. Democrats in Washington are going through one of those "It's quiet out there... too quiet..." cliché moments, as everyone holds their breath in anticipation of the beginning of the end of the health reform debate in Congress.

What everyone's waiting on is for Congress to leap into action. But, in a surprising twist, this time it might actually happen.

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Yesterday, House Democrats put an opening bid on the table in the political game of banning earmarks -- all for-profit corporate earmarks would not be allowed in the budget appropriations bills this year (or possibly longer). Today, House Republicans raised the stakes by proposing a ban on all earmarks (although only specifically for "this year"), and not just the ones directed towards for-profit entities.

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While all of Washington is in a frenzy over ex-Representative Eric Massa's groping and tickling, some actual news (and actual progress, one would like to hope) is being made on the subject of ethics in Congress. Sure, it's more fun to watch Massa's implosion on nationwide television, or to come up with headlines that just write themselves (how about: "Weapon of Massa Self-Destruction"?), but we shouldn't allow this sideshow to distract us from what could shape up this year as a contest between Democrats and Republicans over who can denounce earmarks the loudest. And not just denounce -- but actually ban the practice.

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[Today's column is going to be a reprint of a column I wrote exactly one year ago. This is somewhat of a coincidence, since today I will be taking care of some previous commitments in the non-online world and will be too busy to write a new column. So I went looking for an old column on healthcare reform, just to see where we were a year ago. I read a few columns from last March, and picked one out on not just healthcare reform, but the concept of reconciliation in the Senate. After I had read it and decided to use it, I realized it was posted one year ago to the day, so it serendipitously works as a good reprint article, since it looks pre-planned (even though it isn't).

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Fred Phelps is a hatemonger.

On this, there is no question. It's actually about the most polite way to describe what Phelps' perceived mission in life drives him to do and say. He, and his "church" (mostly made up of members of his family) are the ones who arrive at various places and events all across the country, waving hate-filled signs which convey Phelps' belief that God hates the United States, homosexuals, the U.S. military, and dead American soldiers. He shows up at Jewish sites, gay events, schools, and other places he feels would benefit from his hatemongering. Most notably, this includes the funerals of dead soldiers. Phelps and his followers line up on a public sidewalk with signs saying things such as "God hates dead soldiers" -- which is one of the least offensive thing his signs say, I should mention (I refuse to reference any of his other messages, since I find them so personally odious). Phelps has become so notorious for doing so that a group of motorcycle enthusiasts have banded together to provide a human screen between Phelps' group and military funerals, to spare the families.

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Before we get to the main course here, we've simply got to serve up a steaming hot dish of irony as an appetizer, first. And then, as the title promises, a fun contest that everyone at home can play.

But first, the news that Representative Alan Grayson, he of the fiery lefty rhetoric, is leading an opinion poll conducted in his district, heading into the election. Grayson was far and away the most popular candidate, at this point. He led the pack with 27.8 percent, which doesn't sound too impressive until you hear that nobody else got more than 3.7 percent (57.7 percent were, admittedly, undecided). But the delicious irony of this poll is that the respondents were Republicans. That's right -- Grayson is not just wildly popular among lefty Democrats across the land, he is also apparently more popular among Republicans in his own district than anyone they've got to put up against him. Grayson also, the last time fundraising numbers were released, raised more cash (from people across the country grateful he was actually standing up and fighting for the Democratic position) than anyone else. There's a lesson here among all the irony, if only Democrats would take it to heart.

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