Here we go again. Our toddler-in-chief threw another tantrum this week, because he was mad at Canada. Donald Trump was astonished that Canada didn't immediately knuckle under and agree to all his kooky demands, so he went ahead and opened up a whole new trade war with our neighbor to the north. These demands (to show you how inane the negotiations must have been) included trying to force Canada to reject their bilingual nature and get rid of all that French stuff. Canada refused. So Trump announced a new 50 percent tariff on Canadian goods. Canada then announced their own tariffs on American goods. Trump then threw his tantrum, announcing that he had just renamed Lake Ontario, which will now officially and henceforth be known by the U.S. government as "Lake America" (or possibly "Lake Of America," Trump didn't seem too sure). Which (of course) spurred the internet to respond. The site MapQuest helpfully pointed people to a tool they could use to rename the lake to anything they wished, which (of course) led to all sorts of amusing new names for it (Lake Epstein Files? Lake Hormuz? Lake Cheats At Golf? Lake Gulf Of Mexico?). The funniest one (to us, at any rate) came from "Mister Cool" on the site formerly known as Twitter, who posted an image showing: "Lakey McLakeface."

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As one of the last decisions the Supreme Court handed down in this year's term, they upheld the concept of "birthright citizenship" enshrined within the Fourteenth Amendment. Barely.

The stunning thing wasn't the ruling, which was expected. The truly stunning thing is that the decision was partly 6-3 and partly 5-4. It should have been at least 7-2, with the only dissenters being Samuel Alito and Clarence Thomas (who always vote the way Republicans want them to vote, no matter how clear the legal evidence is on the other side). Honestly, the decision should really have been 9-0, since the case is so cut and dried. Having it only 6-3 (or 5-4) shows that too many conservative judges are complete hypocrites when they swear up and down that they are "originalists" or "textualists" who only take into account what the Constitution (or any amendment) meant by the people who drafted it. Whenever that lofty principle becomes inconvenient in a case, too many of the conservatives just start making stuff up instead of reading the clear and unequivocal language of a law or an amendment.

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If anyone needed any further proof that everything that Donald Trump touches turns to schlock (or worse), this week's opening of the Great American State Fair certainly provided some. The initial idea wasn't too bad a concept -- have all 50 states send an exhibit to the National Mall, and it would capture the spirit of state fairs held every year across America. Sounds kind of fun, actually.

But, of course, with Trump in charge of it, things didn't turn out as well as they could have. And that's putting it mildly. The whole thing was supposed to kick off with a big concert, but when the musical artists realized it was a pro-Trump event (rather than a nonpartisan celebration of patriotism), almost all of them immediately pulled out. So Trump, in a hissy fit, said that he'd give a speech instead, with the handful of the few musical artists still willing to perform for him also featured.

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It's that time of year again. "SCOTUS season" has begun. The end of June is traditionally when the weightiest Supreme Court decisions are handed down, as the high court ends its judicial year and begins a summer break that will last for months. The weightiest of the decisions still yet to be announced will answer the question of whether the Fourteenth Amendment means what it clearly says it means or not, on the subject of birthright citizenship. Other high-profile cases will deal with Donald Trump's expansive view of executive power (including the power to fire anyone he wants for any reason he feels like). But the biggest news from the court this year may come right after their term ends.

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Is Donald Trump about to become a lame duck? Well, that's probably optimistic, but the possibility that people will shortly begin using the term about him does actually exist, and tonight's Republican primary election returns in Indiana will give some sort of indication as to the likeliness of it happening.

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Last week, Donald Trump threatened to wipe out "a whole civilization" which has been around for thousands of years. This week, he not only picked a fight with the Pope, but for good measure also posted a picture of himself depicted as Jesus Christ. That Nobel Peace Prize should be a cinch for him now, right?

The best commentary we heard about all of this came from Representative Sydney Kamlager-Dove, a Democrat from California. As an aside in an eye-opening comment she made to a reporter (more on this in a bit), she called Trump, "this dude, Dr. Jesus...." Which is where our headline today came from (to give credit where it is due).

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The ongoing partial government shutdown is about to break the record for the longest government shutdown in history. It affects only the Department of Homeland Security, which has limited the shutdown's visibility to the average American (in comparison to previous wider-scale shutdowns), but that has been changing over the past few weeks. The Transportation Security Administration is now publicly bearing the brunt of the shutdown, as T.S.A. agents at airports are increasingly deciding not to go to work (some of them can't even afford the gas to get there) or just to quit altogether. This has increased wait times at certain airports, which the media picked up on and has been featuring nightly on the news.

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What if they held a government shutdown and nobody noticed?

That is admittedly a facetious way to put things, but the phrase has been popping into my mind over the past month. Democrats in Congress have partially shut the federal government down, but the issue has all but disappeared from the news, even though the shutdown is now about to enter its second month. There has been no progress whatsoever on any sort of deal or compromise, but the whole thing isn't being treated as any sort of crisis or emergency at all.

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Donald Trump and his fellow Republicans seem to be finally realizing that they might just be in some trouble, heading into the midterm elections. Their policies are unpopular, most Americans think things have gotten worse over the past year, and they don't have any new ideas (unless you count launching a war with Iran for no apparent reason). So the party has seemingly decided to attempt dressing up the ugliness of their agenda by slapping some lipstick on a pig.

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In 1981, President Ronald Reagan famously expressed his anger at his own budget director by metaphorically "taking him out to the woodshed." This week, you might say that Donald Trump took Kristi Noem "out to the gravel pit."

Sorry, but we just couldn't resist. Trump was finally forced to fire one of the members of his cabinet, and it just couldn't have happened to a nicer person. Which is also pure snark, of course, because Noem was one of the most odious members of Team Trump by far (which is saying a lot). She even got yelled at this week by a fellow Republican for the heartlessness of the story she included in the book she wrote about herself, where she took the family dog out to the gravel pit and shot him dead. For good measure, she also shot a goat. Because of "leadership," or something.

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