ChrisWeigant.com

Archive of Articles in the "Humor" Category

From The Archives -- American Motors General Survives Hummer Sale To China

[ Posted Thursday, June 6th, 2019 – 17:53 UTC ]

That's enough history, and as you can tell it's a pretty weak attempt to tie the following article to D-Day. This was intended to mask the real reason for both writing the article in the first place and rerunning it today, which was just a sheer love for AMC vehicles and has nothing really to do with the military, World War II, or D-Day at all. So I guess another year will go by without me writing explicitly about "the longest day." My apologies to the "greatest generation" for such irreverence.

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Redefining Electability

[ Posted Monday, May 6th, 2019 – 17:29 UTC ]

The word on the lips of every political journalist who resides within the Washington Beltway this week is "electability." Countless articles have been written on the subject, and it's been raised to almost obsessive levels as the pundits wonder what the voters think about the Democratic field and who will have the best chance of defeating Donald Trump next year. And as with every modern presidential election cycle for at least the past 20 years, the elusive quality of electability is measured and debated using an agreed-upon definition of the term. The only problem is that this definition is now wildly out of date -- if it ever was even correct in the first place.

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Friday Talking Points -- Another Fun Week In Trumpland

[ Posted Friday, April 12th, 2019 – 17:20 UTC ]

President Donald Trump embarrassed himself today by claiming [TOTAL LIE], and then following up on Twitter with [INSANE CONSPIRACY THEORY]. Both were immediately disproven by [WIDELY AVAILABLE AND INDISPUTABLE FACTS]. When asked for comment, the White House merely stated that "the president's words speak for themselves." Presidential advisor Kellyanne Conway was quoted blaming [ANYONE BUT TRUMP] for the whole fracas.

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Presidential Assment? Har!

[ Posted Thursday, February 7th, 2019 – 17:30 UTC ]

President Donald Trump is not a happy camper. This was plain to see in his morning tweetstorm, where he finally realizes that he did not, in fact, win the 2018 midterm election. There has been a transfer of power in the House of Representatives, and Trump is finally waking up to what this is going to mean for both him personally and for his administration. Most normal politicians would have cottoned onto this basic fact over three months ago, but Trump is anything but normal.

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Crusty Words To Grapple With And Eschew: The Banished Words List

[ Posted Wednesday, January 2nd, 2019 – 18:10 UTC ]

Happy new year everyone, and welcome back again to our annual promotion of Lake Superior State University's annual "Banished Words List." That's right, it's time to head once again to the now-frigid shores of Gitche Gumee to see what their word mavens have optimistically banished from use, in the hopes of keeping all our conversations less lazy (and annoying). So without further ado, let's just get right to this year's list:

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My 2018 "McLaughlin Awards" [Part 2]

[ Posted Friday, December 28th, 2018 – 19:12 UTC ]

Welcome back to the second part of our year-end awards column! For those who may have missed it, check out Part 1 from last week to see the awards we've already handed out.

But since these columns are always not only monstrously but downright scroll-bar-defyingly long, let's just dive right back into the 2018 McLaughlin awards, shall we?

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From The Archives -- Why Christmas Is Not On The Solstice

[ Posted Monday, December 24th, 2018 – 17:20 UTC ]

When is Christmas? And why?

These are questions guaranteed to get you funny looks when you pop them, especially in a gathering of wassail-soaked relatives. But if you're tired of hearing the seemingly-eternal "this is what Uncle Fred did when he was twelve" stories, and you're leery of bringing up politics with your kin from Outer Podunk, then it's at least a conversation-starter that's somewhat neutral. Plus, you can reaffirm your nearest-and-dearests' image of you as a latte-sipping fruitcake who moved away from the glory of the heartland and now lives on (say it with an embarrassed whisper) the coast.

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My 2018 "McLaughlin Awards" [Part 1]

[ Posted Friday, December 21st, 2018 – 19:52 UTC ]

Welcome back once again to our year-end awards column series! Today we'll have part one, and then we'll finish up next Friday with part two. As always, we will be using the (slightly-modified, over time) awards categories first thought up by the incomparable McLaughlin Group television political-chatfest show.

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Friday Talking Points -- Done Dirt Cheap!

[ Posted Friday, December 14th, 2018 – 19:14 UTC ]

Our title today comes, of course, from former Donald Trump lawyer (and jailbird-to-be) Michael Cohen, who during his sentencing hearing this week said of Donald Trump: "Time and time again, I felt it was my duty to cover up his dirty deeds."

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The Reality Television Presidency

[ Posted Wednesday, December 12th, 2018 – 18:24 UTC ]

President Donald Trump sat down with incoming Democratic congressional leaders Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer yesterday, and he kept the cameras rolling to capture the first time the three had met in over a year's time. What ensued was nothing short of The Apprentice: Oval Office. The only real difference being that Trump is now playing the role of the apprentice, still getting up to speed after two years on the job. Pelosi and Schumer, or as Trump likes to call them, "Chuck and Nancy," spent a little over 15 minutes schooling the president on: the outcome of the midterm elections, how Congress works, the legislative process, border security, and (as a bonus) what is true and what is not. Reality television at its finest!

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