ChrisWeigant.com

Archive of Articles in the "Humor" Category

No Worries About The New Normal On The Banished Words List

[ Posted Monday, January 3rd, 2022 – 17:32 UTC ]

Yes, it is that time again, folks! The time when we check in with the learnèd word mavens of Lake Superior State University in Sault Sainte Marie, Michigan to see what they've put on their annual Banished Words List. So if you're ready to Gitche Gumee on (so to speak), let's all take a look at the overused phrases to be "banished" from the vernacular, shall we?

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From The Archives -- Politically Correct Season's Greetings

[ Posted Thursday, December 30th, 2021 – 17:40 UTC ]

So as it turns out, I did not actually have the energy to write any new columns this week, so please accept my apologies for slacking off. And I'm not going to post anything tomorrow at all, so this is it for 2021, folks.
I found this while looking for earlier columns to re-run this [...]

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From The Archives -- The Kringlebase Incident

[ Posted Wednesday, December 29th, 2021 – 17:44 UTC ]

We hereby interrupt our live coverage of Pope Francis leading Midnight Mass this Christmas Eve, because we've got some breaking news from the Pentagon. We apologize for pre-empting our traditional Christmas Eve programming, and promise we will continue our coverage after the newsbreak, on a slight time delay so our viewers won't miss a single minute of the Pope.

We take you now to our Pentagon correspondent, who is awaiting the start of this extraordinary and unprecedented Christmas Eve press conference...

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From The Archives -- How About A Saturnalia Display?

[ Posted Tuesday, December 28th, 2021 – 18:03 UTC ]

'Tis the season.

What season? Well, that depends upon your belief system, doesn't it?

For Christians, it is the season of Advent, the season of Noël; in short, the season of Christmas. For Jews, the season of Hanukkah. For Muslims, the season of Eid.

For others, joining in the mirth has now come to mean celebrating the season of Festivus, a made-up holiday from a made-up television show. And even the Flying Spaghetti Monster adherents are getting in on the fun this year.

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From The Archives -- The Biggest Conspiracy Of All

[ Posted Monday, December 27th, 2021 – 17:47 UTC ]

Speaking as someone who generally enjoys a good conspiracy theory just for the "creative writing" aspect alone, in all good conscience I simply must report this shocking news: I have uncovered a big, fat conspiracy that is no mere theory. We're either being lied to, or we're joining in the propagation of the lie ourselves, with merriment. In actual fact, it would not be hyperbole to call this the father of all conspiracies.

And almost every single one of us has participated in this gigantic hoax, in one form or another, at least once in our lives. For many, it happens like clockwork on a regular basis. And it seems to prove Hitler's point about the "Big Lie" -- if you repeat it often enough, sooner or later a certain segment of the populace will accept it as being true.

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My 2021 "McLaughlin Awards" [Part 2]

[ Posted Thursday, December 23rd, 2021 – 19:12 UTC ]

Welcome back to the second part of our year-end awards column! If you missed it, please feel free to check out [Part 1], too.

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From The Archives -- Why Christmas Is Not On The Solstice

[ Posted Tuesday, December 21st, 2021 – 17:25 UTC ]

When is Christmas? And why?

These are questions guaranteed to get you funny looks when you pop them, especially in a gathering of wassail-soaked relatives. But if you're tired of hearing the seemingly-eternal "this is what Uncle Fred did when he was twelve" stories, and you're leery of bringing up politics with your kin from Outer Podunk, then it's at least a conversation-starter that's somewhat neutral. Plus, you can reaffirm your nearest-and-dearests' image of you as a latte-sipping fruitcake who moved away from the glory of the heartland and now lives on (say it with an embarrassed whisper) the coast.

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You're A Mean One...

[ Posted Monday, December 20th, 2021 – 17:44 UTC ]

[With apologies to Theodor Geisel
Since he could do this so very well.
I will not try to follow him to the letter
Since he could do it ever-so-much better...]

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My 2021 "McLaughlin Awards" [Part 1]

[ Posted Friday, December 17th, 2021 – 17:36 UTC ]

Welcome to the first installment of our year-end awards!

We do have to warn readers, right up front, that this is an insanely long article. If you're one of those "tl;dr" types of people, we would strongly advise you to go find a short listicle somewhere else, to read instead. Because this will be a marathon, not a sprint (as always).

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Friday Talking Points -- The Hidden Biden Boom

[ Posted Friday, December 10th, 2021 – 17:04 UTC ]

Even though it is still laughably early to make any such future predictions -- especially when it comes to both the economy and politics -- Joe Biden and the Democrats could actually be poised to have a decent shot in next year's midterm elections.

That may sound shocking to some, mostly because pundits are currently predicting doom and gloom for both Biden's presidency and the midterms. But next November is still a long way away, and things change over time. Including current preconceptions.

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