Donald Trump, true to form, just rolled out a surprise new federal policy -- which then caused immediate chaos for those affected by it. There was no warning and it took effect almost before the ink was dry, which created the immediacy. The White House then had to go through several iterations of what exactly it all was going to mean before that immediate chaos subsided somewhat. But the long-term effects of Trump's new H-1B visa policy could end up being rather significant. This could wind up being good news, but it could also wind up being no more than chaotic and counterproductive to Trump's own goals.

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Last night, Jimmy Kimmel returned to the airwaves. Well, most of them, at any rate. Two corporate conglomerates of ABC affiliates refused to air the show, but with modern technology available, everyone can now watch his opening monologue even if you live in a television market where his show was pre-empted.

The official YouTube video of the opening of Jimmy Kimmel Live! has (as of this writing) 15.7 million views. If you haven't seen it yet, it is well worth watching. In fact, today we are pre-empting our own political column to present a full transcript of what Jimmy had to say last night in his opening monologue, because it is an important statement on free speech that stands on its own, and one that everyone who cares about free speech should either read or watch.

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Once again, this week was consumed by an out-of-control political fire that is engulfing Donald Trump, his attorney general, the F.B.I., and all of Trump's fellow Republicans in Congress. They built a political Ponzi scheme out of the Epstein files, and it has now completely collapsed around them.

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Welcome back to the second of our year-end awards columns! And if you missed it last Friday, go check out [Part 1] as well.

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Everybody ready? Here is the first installment of our year-end awards, with our obligatory nod to The McLaughlin Group television show for coming up with these categories.

As always, it's a marathon. It's really, really long. Don't say you weren't warned! And since it is so long, that's all the introduction we're going to bother with.

Ready?... everyone buckle up... here we go....

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This week, millions of Americans tuned in to politics only to make an astonishing discovery: Donald Trump is still exactly who he always was! He opens his mouth, and lies and crazy talk pour forth. Same as it ever was... what a surprise!

Now, normal people can be excused for being surprised that Trump is still Trump. Most people have lives to lead and plenty of other things to do, so they simply don't pay much attention to politics. But tens of millions of them made the time this week to tune in to the first debate between Donald Trump and Kamala Harris. And it was like going to a family Thanksgiving dinner and once again having to put up with your crazy uncle -- because you had somehow forgotten just how bad he truly was. And still is.

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I will begin this article by "dating" myself, to prove what a fuddy-duddy I truly am. I do this to avoid anyone who might confuse me with a starry-eyed tween fan of Taylor Swift (not an easy mistake to make, but still...). To wit: the first time I heard the more-modern usage of the term "Swifties," I was confused. To me, a "Swifty" referred to a piece of writing -- a rather amusing juxtaposition of a statement and an adverb, usually used to punnily poke fun at some flamboyant or way-too-cute sentence. The nomenclature comes from the fuller form of the put-down, a "Tom Swifty." This references the main character in a series of young-adult books written a very long time ago about a teenage supergenius with unlimited financial resources, who invented all sorts of futuristic things and battled the forces of evil (who were always ready to thwart Tom's plans to use his inventions for good).

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Over its first three days, the Democratic National Convention kept building on one overriding theme: joy. Or, as Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez explained to Stephen Colbert last night, for Democrats it was "the rebirth of hope." I almost expected Beethoven's Ode To Joy to be played at some point, but I guess the various DJs didn't have a copy. A far different Alex -- the main character in A Clockwork Orange -- would have been seriously disappointed by this omission, since (as he put it) it would have added: "all the banging and creeching about Joy Joy Joy Joy." The lack of "Ludwig Van" aside, though, it certainly was a joyful event for the first three nights.

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The Democratic National Convention is now half over, after a blowout second night that featured both Michelle and Barack Obama as the evening's headliners. This was after what is normally a pretty boring (and cheesy) process -- the rollcall of the state delegations -- turned into a joyful dance party, complete with a DJ spinning tunes appropriate to each state. All in all, a pretty outstanding night!

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To dot or not to dot? That is the question....

Since it seems like a week for Silly Season columns, today I thought we'd examine an editorial quandary we've been faced with. Because the Republican vice-presidential candidate presents us with a challenge. He would now prefer to be known as simply: "JD Vance" -- sans punctuation, in other words. So do we respect his wishes or continue (as we started doing when we first wrote his name) with our standard style-guide form: "J.D. Vance"?

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