To celebrate the traditional "Day After The Fourth Of July, Because All Federal Holidays Are Now Three-Day Weekends No Matter When The Date Actually Is," as it were, means there will be no column today.

Instead, as a surprise, we welcome back our in-house cartoonist who has been held captive by a roving band of wild secretaries. Ransom is being asked on the order of seven dollars and 42 cents, but so far, no takers. He managed to get this cartoon smuggled out with the aid of a trained squirrel.

Enjoy!

About the Cartoonist | Reprint Policy

[Program Note: Our usual Friday Talking Points column is going on a one-week hiatus, so that we are able to present a special offering today, for the Independence Day weekend. So as not to cause withdrawal symptoms among our fan base, we offer up two do-it-yourself suggestions for discussion this week (which sounds way better than: "assigning summer homework"), which were so unbelievable that they deserve mention here before we get all patriotic. The first comes from Washington Post columnist Kathleen Parker, who just wrote possibly the most monumentally stupid column she's ever penned (which is saying a lot, for her), titled: "Obama: Our First Female President" -- bringing the art of emasculation to new lows. Secondly (and much more fun to respond to) was John Boehner's interview with a Pittsburgh newspaper, in which he described the effort to pass Wall Street reform as "killing an ant with a nuclear weapon." Democrats have begun jumping on Boehner's comments, as well they should. Feel free to write your own talking points on these subjects in the comments section. Friday Talking Points will return in its normal time slot next week.]

The Revolutionary War lasted a lot longer than most of us realize. Begun in 1775, the war didn't end for six long years, and wasn't fully resolved for another two. During this time, American forces had some notable victories, and also more than a few ignoble defeats at the hands of the British. Some of these battles have been inscribed on the nation's consciousness so deeply they are remembered in name (if not in complete detail) by its citizenry more than two centuries later. For instance, as schoolchildren we all learned the following names: Lexington and Concord, Bunker Hill, Fort Ticonderoga, Valley Forge, and Trenton (or "Washington crossing the Delaware"). This litany of sacred spots (which includes Valley Forge even though no battle was fought there, since we all know the name), began with "the shot heard 'round the world," and ended decisively with the surrender of the British General Cornwallis, at Yorktown, Virginia. Yorktown was the endpoint of the war, we all learned as children, and the surrender of the British forces to the ragtag Americans was the decisive victory which forced the British to negotiate an end to the entire conflict. But what we weren't taught is that this battle may not have been such a key one if it hadn't been for a naval battle which had happened over a month earlier. This battle -- called variously the "Battle of the Chesapeake," or the "Battle of the Virginia Capes" -- is one very few Americans have even heard of. This is probably due to the fact that no Americans took part in the battle -- or even witnessed it (except perhaps from afar) -- because it was a slugfest between the British and the French navies. But if the Battle of the Chesapeake hadn't happened, it is very likely General Washington wouldn't have won the Siege of Yorktown, and the American Revolution would have continued on for a lot longer than it did -- and may have been lost, in the end. Which is why it's a shame that almost nobody remembers such a turning point in our country's history.

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President Obama gave a speech today on immigration reform. He made his case, and pleaded with Congress to deliver up a comprehensive legislative package on the issue. But chances of this happening, as the old saw goes, are somewhere between "slim" and "none." Perhaps President Obama will achieve immigration reform at some point in his presidency, but I personally just don't see it happening any time soon.

Obama is, quite bluntly, becoming a victim of his own over-promising on the campaign trail. Obama told a lot of groups of people that their particular issue would be taken care of in his "first year in office," which then ran smack into the brick wall called the United States Senate. I believe (with nothing more to go on than a gut feeling, I have to admit) that Obama truly felt he could change the "politics as usual" nature of Washington, single-handedly. It turned out that Washington wasn't all that eager to change, which has delayed much of Obama's agenda far beyond when he had planned.

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There has been a lot of media attention given lately to the military, our troops, and our war strategy. Almost without exception, this attention has focused on Afghanistan. Of course, there's a good reason for this, since President Obama just removed the commanding general from Afghanistan and replaced him. And the Senate just confirmed General David Petraeus to take over the American war effort there. But with all of this attention -- especially the attention of Republican senators on Obama's "timetable for withdrawal" of the current Afghanistan "surge" effort next July, what is noticeable by its absence is any discussion of how our timetable for withdrawal is going in Iraq. In all the media discussion of Afghanistan, there has been virtually no mention of what's happening currently in Iraq.

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The Wall Street reform bill, now christened Dodd-Frank, is entering its final stretch this week. The House/Senate conference committee is finishing up work on the bill, and the goal is to get it through both houses of Congress and on the president's desk by July Fourth. A quick look at a calendar shows that this is a very tight schedule. To complicate matters, the death of Senator Robert Byrd now means the Democrats are short a vote they had been counting on. Which means they need some Republicans to vote with them, or the bill won't survive the inevitable filibuster attempt.

In the midst of this high-pressure environment, the Republicans which Democrats have been courting suddenly took umbrage at a provision in the bill -- because they want taxpayers to bear the cost, instead of Wall Street. Yes, you heard that right. After making mountains of political hay out of the "bailouts," Republicans are demanding that any future "bailouts" are paid for by taxpayers, instead of the banks themselves.

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A Supreme Court ruling just out may serve to blunt Republican criticism of Elena Kagan, who started her confirmation hearings today in the Senate. So far, Republicans haven't come up with much of any substance to attack Kagan on (although I admit, I haven't watched any of today's confirmation hearings yet), but they all pretty much agree upon one issue -- the fact that Kagan, as dean of the Harvard law school, upheld a school policy of barring military recruiters from campus due to the fact that the military discriminates against gays. But the ruling in Christian Legal Society v. Martinez seems to give the high court's imprimatur to universities not allowing groups that practice such discrimination on campus -- which Kagan can now point to in defense of her position.

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We're going to begin today with the news that a popular New Jersey beach is considering allowing women to sunbathe topless. And then move right on to the financial reform bill, by way of a neck-snapping segue. Just to warn you up front.

Asbury Park, New Jersey, will soon address a request from a woman who owns a yoga studio to change the rules for their beach by allowing gender equality in their blue laws -- specifically, allowing women the same freedom men have, to remove their tops while on the beach. Believe it or not, men had to fight for the right to appear topless in public long ago. It wasn't until 1937 that men won the right to appear bare-chested on beaches, helped along by Johnny Weissmuller (of swimming and Tarzan fame). Now women are fighting for the same rights, at least in Asbury Park. After all, it's a simple question of equality, right?

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Is Texas about to reach a tipping point from a solid red Republican state to a bright blue Democratic one? Well, probably not, but it's an interesting concept to kick around on a Thursday (when I am, admittedly, behind schedule), so here goes.

I've toyed with this concept before, which a quick search of my site sadly does not easily identify (this is my explanation for not posting a link in this sentence; see previous "I am... behind schedule" comment). Texas is, demographically, an interesting place (to say the least). Following the "everything's bigger in Texas" theory, Texas conservatives are really, really conservative. This was before the Tea Partiers made it hip among wider conservatism to be so, it should be pointed out. After all, Ron Paul himself (pause for really, really conservative folks to genuflect...) is from Texas. Conservative politicians in Texas flirt with such radical notions as secession from the Union (in this day and age), and it actually does not hurt them among their base, it instead gains them support. In other words, the red parts of Texas are truly red-blooded-red (if that's not too much redundancy for you).

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The Supreme Court recently ruled that the post-9/11 laws against "materially supporting" terrorist groups should be very broadly interpreted. Even counseling any group on the official list of terrorist organizations about peaceful topics is now to be considered "supporting terrorism." Which leads me to wonder what they'd say about actually paying a terrorist organization tens of millions of dollars.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. Because to understand the conclusion, first we have to take a look at what is happening in Afghanistan. While the Washington world is all a-twitter (and even all a-Twitter) over today's ouster of General Stanley McChrystal from his job of overseeing the American war effort in Afghanistan, I'd like to instead take a step back to look at the bigger picture of our war effort, and what it realistically hopes to achieve. Because at this point, even the best-case scenario isn't looking very rosy.

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Sorry, folks, too sick to type today, and likely Tuesday as well. Got some sort of flu or something. Again, my apologies...

-CW