Everyone having a good between-the-holidays week? We certainly hope so!

Since this is the one week this entire year I'm essentially taking as a holiday week, today I have another column from years past for you to enjoy.

It has always seemed to me that if people can revive long-dead (or at least "mostly forgotten") religions in a modern age -- think of today's Wiccans or Druids, as just two examples -- then why couldn't there be modern-day worshippers of Saturn? In fact, it kind of surprises me that no enterprising group has come up with the idea as of yet (at least, that I am aware of). What would that entail? Well, let's take a look, shall we?

Originally published December 18, 2013

'Tis the season.

What season? Well, that depends upon your belief system, doesn't it?

For Christians, it is the season of Advent, the season of Noël; in short, the season of Christmas. For Jews, the season of Hanukkah. For Muslims, the season of Eid.

For others, joining in the mirth has now come to mean celebrating the season of Festivus, a made-up holiday from a made-up television show. And even the Flying Spaghetti Monster adherents are getting in on the fun this year.

Historically, America has treated Christmas as the sole holiday worthy of governmental approval. In the federal schedule of holidays, there is one and only one religious holiday, after all -- Christmas Day. The mail doesn't move, the courts are closed, and all non-emergency government services are shuttered. Sooner or later, someone's going to get around to suing to change this, but nobody's been that bold in the courts yet. If America is a secular nation, after all (it says so, right here on the label...) then why -- in any god's name -- should it recognize one religion over another in such a fashion? But since this hasn't happened yet, we only mention it in passing as a thought exercise for civil rights lawyers to contemplate. On their day off, perhaps.

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Never was this column more appropriate, here at the end of what might accurately be called (at least in the political world): "The Year of the Big Lie."

It was actually written twelve years ago, long before things went completely off the rails for at least a third of the American public.

And let me finish by saying I certainly hope everyone had a wonderful holiday weekend and are still enjoying the good cheer of the season.

Originally published December 23, 2009

Speaking as someone who generally enjoys a good conspiracy theory just for the "creative writing" aspect alone, in all good conscience I simply must report this shocking news: I have uncovered a big, fat conspiracy that is no mere theory. We're either being lied to, or we're joining in the propagation of the lie ourselves, with merriment. In actual fact, it would not be hyperbole to call this the father of all conspiracies.

And almost every single one of us has participated in this gigantic hoax, in one form or another, at least once in our lives. For many, it happens like clockwork on a regular basis. And it seems to prove Hitler's point about the "Big Lie" -- if you repeat it often enough, sooner or later a certain segment of the populace will accept it as being true.

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Welcome back to the second part of our year-end awards column! If you missed it, please feel free to check out [Part 1], too.

Be warned, as always, both of these columns are extraordinarily long. It's a marathon, not a sprint, in other words. And we got lots of excellent suggestions from readers for this week, so we tried a lot harder to give credit where it was due, this time around.

Before we dive right in, two program notes:

We would once again like to encourage everyone to donate to our annual fundraising drive (by clicking the link in the thermometer graphic above), since we seem to be running rather woefully behind this year (or perhaps it's just that we decided to do the year-end columns earlier, who knows?). And secondly, there will be no column at all tomorrow, so have a wonderful Christmas weekend, everyone!

   Destined For Political Stardom

We're going to name two of these, one from each party.

From the Republicans: Glenn Youngkin seems Destined For Political Stardom. He pulled off a minor miracle, winning the Virginia governor's race against a man who had already served as governor. As many pundits pointed out, he successfully "threaded the needle" of not directly going against Donald Trump while still holding him at arm's length. This allowed him to escape being painted as a Trump clone (which had worked wonders for Gavin Newsom, during his recall election) and win back some of those crucial suburban swing voters. He did so in Virginia, a state which has become bluer and bluer over time, which is why his win was so impressive.

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I know it runs counter to the prevailing storyline out there, and the evidence is in no way complete yet, but I think it's time to get just a wee bit more optimistic about the overall effects of the Omicron mutation of the COVID-19 virus. Because it (or perhaps the next Greek-lettered variant to follow it) could wind up being our way out of this whole pandemic mess.

I realize this could be too rosy-tinted to yet believe. But it also could be true. Two emerging facts stand out: The first is that Omicron seems to have traded being more lethal for being more transmissible. The second is that this is the way most pandemics eventually die out, and become just another subset of "the annual seasonal flu."

Again, all the data are not yet in. But what has been reported, so far, is incredibly encouraging. Yes, the variant is unbelievably transmissible -- far so than any other strain to date. That sounds scary. But what does it mean, in reality? It means that Delta is disappearing fast. It is being out-competed. In two weeks' time, Omicron went from a tiny fraction of the reported cases in America to nearly three-fourths of all new cases (this even goes as high as 90 percent, in some areas). That is astoundingly fast for one variant to kick another one out of circulation. If it continues, within another week or two, Delta will have all but disappeared from the world stage.

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Yes, it's that time of year again, when the days go from getting shorter to getting longer once again. So, as always (well, almost always, some years we forget...) we're just going to run a very old seasonal column, just in case there's anyone out there who hasn't already read it.

Hope everyone's having a great holiday season so far, and that next year will be better than the last few. Our own holiday pledge drive has gotten off to a rather slow start this year, so we'd like to encourage everyone once again to donate what you can, to keep this site ad-free and up and running for all of 2022. A worthy goal indeed, right? Just click on the thermometer graphic up above or the "Donate" button to do what you can -- and thanks in advance!

In any case, hope everyone's having a wonderful Winter Solstice. Oh, one technical note on the text: I have corrected "Constantine's wife" to "Constantine's mother," because not checking my facts through sheer laziness has always been part of the fun of blogging. Mea culpa to Saint Helena, and all of that.

Originally Published December 24, 2007

When is Christmas? And why?

These are questions guaranteed to get you funny looks when you pop them, especially in a gathering of wassail-soaked relatives. But if you're tired of hearing the seemingly-eternal "this is what Uncle Fred did when he was twelve" stories, and you're leery of bringing up politics with your kin from Outer Podunk, then it's at least a conversation-starter that's somewhat neutral. Plus, you can reaffirm your nearest-and-dearests' image of you as a latte-sipping fruitcake who moved away from the glory of the heartland and now lives on (say it with an embarrassed whisper) the coast.

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[With apologies to Theodor Geisel
Since he could do this so very well.
I will not try to follow him to the letter
Since he could do it ever-so-much better...]

A Mean One Indeed

[The scene: a Christmas tableaux, in the Done family living room. A cheerful Christmas tree is all aglow, with wonderful presents at the base, in the gloom.]

A mighty thump is heard, a cloud of soot erupts from the fireplace, and a very scary-looking creature emerges. Little Joey Bye Done, returning from a trip to the Euphemism, stands agape as the only witness.

The creature picks himself up and shakes off another huge cloud of soot. He catches a reflection of himself in the mirror over the mantel and smiles a hideously sinister grin.

"Coal black! My favorite color!"

The creature cackles. For all the world he looks like he should be twirling a mustache, tying some poor helpless girl to some railroad tracks somewhere. He just gives off that aura, somehow.

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Welcome to the first installment of our year-end awards!

We do have to warn readers, right up front, that this is an insanely long article. If you're one of those "tl;dr" types of people, we would strongly advise you to go find a short listicle somewhere else, to read instead. Because this will be a marathon, not a sprint (as always).

We also would like to thank those readers who made nominations this year, as it is always helpful to hear different voices when contemplating who deserves each of these awards. We tried to credit these suggestions, but in the frenzy of writing we probably missed a few (for which we apologize profusely).

Without any further introduction, then (it's long enough as it is), here are our choices for the list of awards first created on the show The McLaughlin Group, which we have long co-opted for our own amusement.

   Biggest Winner Of 2021

We could interpret this negatively, by awarding Biggest Winner Of 2021 to the Taliban, or to (as was suggested by reader andygaus) authoritarianism. Or we could have gone rather neutral and given it to infrastructure, after the long wait for "Infrastructure Week" finally paid off.

But instead we're going positive. The Biggest Winners Of 2021 were Unions and (more widely) working Americans in general. The pandemic changed many things about the workplace, most notably the balance of power between employers and employees.

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The timing of this article is not coincidental. I am punting on writing a new column today because I am already hard at work on tomorrow's column, which (as always) will be an absolute tome. With 20 categories to cover, it's going to be a long read, just to warn everyone in advance.

I do have an update on the holiday schedule, however. I am moving up the date for Part 2 of the awards, which I had originally slotted in for next Friday. But next Friday is Christmas Eve, meaning many readers wouldn't even have the chance to read it until the next day, which is Christmas morning.

This, obviously, is a bad idea. So instead, we're moving the schedule up a day, and Part 2 of the year-end awards will appear next Thursday, the 23rd. This seems like a better idea for all concerned. There will then be no column on the 24th and I still won't commit to posting anything original next week (except for, whenever it appears, my roundup of the banished words list). I will post re-run articles, but that's as far as I'm going to promise (I need a vacation too!).

In any case, take a look at the awards categories below for next week's column and please offer up your nominations. There are a lot of them, so there's usually some award category that anyone worthy can be fit into. If you'd like to review, you can check out last year's column to see who got what back then.

And, as always throughout the holiday season, please consider donating to the site. Our annual pledge drive is off to a very slow start this year for some reason, so we do encourage you to give if you can afford it and are a regular reader of the site. Just click on the thermometer graphic at the head of this column and it'll take you to the donation page.

In any case, here are the categories for next week's final segment of the year-end awards. Please let me know your ideas down in the comments.

Destined For Political Stardom

Destined For Political Oblivion

Best Political Theater

Worst Political Theater

Worst Political Scandal

Most Underreported Story

Most Overreported Story

Biggest Government Waste

Best Government Dollar Spent

Boldest Political Tactic

Best Idea

Worst Idea

Sorry To See You Go

15 Minutes Of Fame

Best Spin

Worst Spin

Most Honest Person

Biggest Liar

Most Overrated

Most Underrated

Predictions

-- Chris Weigant

Follow Chris on Twitter: @ChrisWeigant

While reviewing the past year's news in preparation for my year-end columns, I came across something interesting, but didn't mark it down for any special mention. It just seemed one more bit of flotsam in the tsunami of idiocy emanating from the Republican Party over the course of a year. But then today the New York Times provided an update on the situation, so I was left thinking: "that was then, this is now," and I decided to juxtapose the two. Call it a textbook example of Republican hypocrisy.

Back in March, after the American Rescue Plan passed Congress and was signed into law as a COVID-19 relief package, some Republicans were outraged. None of them in Congress had voted for the bill, so they couldn't realistically claim any credit for it (although some, like Representative Madison Cawthorn, did indeed try to do just that -- claim credit for a bill he had voted against, back home in his district). So a few of them tried painting it as a bad thing, and one in particular tried to stop the tide of federal money from washing into the states by issuing a rather unusual plea. Here is an excerpt from an open letter Senator Rick Scott of Florida sent to "governors and mayors across the United States," begging them to just flat-out reject at least some of the money:

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California Governor Gavin Newsom has decided that the way to fight fire is with some fire of his own. This can be a valuable political tactic at times, to show the opposition party that their own schemes can be used by the other side in unforeseen ways. But doing so always runs the risk of sparking a conflagration that burns everything down. And this could be one of those times.

It's understandable what Newsom is trying to do and the message he is trying to send. It's an important message, and its intended targets are the six conservative justices on the United States Supreme Court. Plainly stated, this message is: "Be very careful what legal tactics you decide are constitutional, because they will be used in ways you do not like or approve of."

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