[ Posted Thursday, February 2nd, 2023 – 17:20 UTC ]
Happy Groundhog Day, everyone! Or, to be more accurate, I should wish everyone a happy Groundhog Day, since I speak not of a small, furry weather prognosticator but instead of the movie of the same name which starred Bill Murray. For those of you who have just woken up from a multi-decade coma, the film subjected Murray to living the same day over and over again in a time loop. Which today certainly has some significant flavors of, you have to admit.
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[ Posted Thursday, January 5th, 2023 – 16:47 UTC ]
To sum up today's proceedings in the House of Representatives, we turn to the esteemed and well-respected political thinkers Monty Python's Flying Circus:
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[ Posted Monday, January 2nd, 2023 – 17:23 UTC ]
A new year dawns, and as always, we look to the north... way north... so far north it's almost Canada! Yes, it is time once again for our annual pilgrimage to the shores of Gitche Gumee to see what words and phrases the learnèd language mavens of the Lake Superior State University (in Sault Sainte Marie, Michigan) have deemed so offensive that they have officially banished them.
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[ Posted Tuesday, December 27th, 2022 – 18:25 UTC ]
Speaking as someone who generally enjoys a good conspiracy theory just for the "creative writing" aspect alone, in all good conscience I simply must report this shocking news: I have uncovered a big, fat conspiracy that is no mere theory. We're either being lied to, or we're joining in the propagation of the lie ourselves, with merriment. In actual fact, it would not be hyperbole to call this the father of all conspiracies.
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[ Posted Friday, December 23rd, 2022 – 19:51 UTC ]
Welcome back to the second of our year-end awards columns! And if you missed it last Friday, go check out [Part 1] as well.
As always, this is long. Horrendously long. Insanely long. It takes a lot of stamina to read all the way to the end. You have been duly warned! But because it is so long, we certainly don't want to add any more here at the start, so let's just dive in, shall we?
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[ Posted Wednesday, December 21st, 2022 – 16:38 UTC ]
When is Christmas? And why?
These are questions guaranteed to get you funny looks when you pop them, especially in a gathering of wassail-soaked relatives. But if you're tired of hearing the seemingly-eternal "this is what Uncle Fred did when he was twelve" stories, and you're leery of bringing up politics with your kin from Outer Podunk, then it's at least a conversation-starter that's somewhat neutral. Plus, you can reaffirm your nearest-and-dearests' image of you as a latte-sipping fruitcake who moved away from the glory of the heartland and now lives on (say it with an embarrassed whisper) the coast.
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[ Posted Friday, December 16th, 2022 – 18:45 UTC ]
Welcome to the first installment of our year-end awards!
As always, we must begin with a stern warning: this is an incredibly long article. So long you likely won't make it to the end, at least not in one sitting. It is, as it always is, a marathon not a sprint.
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[ Posted Monday, October 31st, 2022 – 16:11 UTC ]
I almost didn't do a Hallowe'en column this year, because it's pretty obvious what both sides of the aisle would be frightened by. Who controls Congress after the midterms would have (as always) been the easy way to go with today's stories. I could have easily written the basic tales in one tweet: "Republicans win, Democrats horrified... or Democrats win, Republicans horrified."
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[ Posted Friday, October 7th, 2022 – 16:45 UTC ]
We were reminded of an old political saying this week: "Only Nixon could go to China." Only a president who was long known as a staunch anti-communist warrior could open up American relations with communist China in the depths of the Cold War, without being painted as some sort of pinko/commie back home. This week's update might read: "Only Biden could pardon weed crimes." Joe Biden, before he became Barack Obama's vice president, had spent much of his life in the Senate being the biggest, baddest drug warrior around. He actually coined the term "drug czar" and worked with the Reagan administration to make the Office of National Drug Control Policy a reality. He's never been pro-legalization in any way, a fact that didn't exactly help him in the 2020 Democratic primaries. But there he was yesterday, taking the first steps away from the War On Weed that any U.S. President has ever taken.
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[ Posted Thursday, October 6th, 2022 – 14:19 UTC ]
[The scene: A room deep within the Republican Party headquarters. Applicants are being screened as possible future candidates for office. There is a panel of GOP bigwigs behind a table, as the door opens and a rather large creature with reddish skin enters and takes a seat facing the panel.]
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