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So, today, with both prominent liberals and conservatives now calling for Alberto Gonzales to resign, and with his numbers dropping in the polls, and when the entire Bush administration is being soundly ridiculed in the pages of the Washington Post, the question remains: what do "experts agree" about Gonzales?
. . . Did anyone else out there see the irony in America condemning Iran for the way they treated the captured British soldiers and sailors? It's kind of hard to get worked up over the Iranians' behavior when the CIA is doing worse things to prisoners in the name of the American people. In other words, it's hard for us to get on our high horse when we've abandoned the moral high road ourselves.
The second choice bit is that the White House has hired a new pastry chef, William "Bill" Yosses. The punchline? He's the co-author of Desserts For Dummies -- which can now be interpreted two ways.
Yossarian marveled at the logic involved. If you thought the plan was crazy, you were obviously sane and had to fight. If you thought the plan was a good one, you were obviously crazy and could go home, but since you thought the plan was good you'd never want to go home (which was crazy). By pointing out that the president's plan was crazy, you proved you were sane and had to fight, even though you knew the plan (crazy or not) was doomed to failure. The only people who had confidence in the plan were obviously as crazy as the president, and didn't have to fight, but did anyway.
PREDICTIONS
Speaker Pelosi will do a great job.
Karl Rove will be booted from the White House.
Congress will censure Bush and Cheney and "move on," but will not impeach.
NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION
To get paid for writing these columns. I love writing them, and now I'm ready for my paycheck!
WORST LIE
All the different variations of Bush saying: "absolutely, we're winning in Iraq." We're not. Deal with it. The first step on the road to recovery is admitting you've got a problem. And when "the problem" is an absolute refusal to acknowledge reality... and you're the President of the United States... then it becomes a problem for us all.
Currently tracking unidentified flying object on our screens. At times object appears to fly at speeds almost too fast to be believed -- much faster than any known type of aircraft. At other times (always near populated areas up and down the East Coast), object slows to conventional flight speeds and performs what appears to be a search grid over the entire area. During this search, we lose contact multiple times, but the object always reappears quickly, close to previously known position. Impossible as this seems, it is suggested (but not confirmed) that the object may be performing multiple landings in these areas.
Richard Perle appears from the right wing of the stage, ranting: "That turkey was a perfectly good turkey and it would have successfully been fed to the American people if Bush hadn't dropped it so badly! The idea of the turkey was sound! It was just mishandled! It could have been a good turkey!"
Kenneth Adelman and Michael Rubin join in behind Perle, "He's right! Listen to him! The neo-cons had a great turkey of an idea, and the White House bungled our beautiful turkey!"
Karl Rove darts out of the gloom from the wings, twirling a lasso over his head. He ropes the three dissenters and yanks them back into the right wing.
