In the past few weeks, we've heard story after story of corporate excess, often in admonishments toward corporate executives from various congressional committees. CEOs on private planes! Gasp! Outrageous compensation packages and bonuses for executives! Who knew? Posh conferences in luxury resorts! Golly! Taxpayer dollars may pay hundreds of millions in stadium naming rights! Lions and tigers and bears, oh my!

Then, as I was preparing to write this, I read Representative Elijah Cummings' column at the Huffington Post today in which he expressed his outrage over the latest example of corporate excess to be uncovered -- Citigroup and the Mets' stadium-naming contract.

But you know what? I am not impressed by Cummings encouraging corporations to "stop the reckless spending." Because he and his fellow congressfolk can put on their faux looks of outrage and astonishment all they want, and "encourage" until they're blue in the face, but none of it adds up to more than hypocritical tut-tuttery in my book.

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While today is not officially Turkey Day, I will warn you in advance that it's going to be a theme running through today's column, like gravy through a poorly-constructed dam of mashed potatoes. So to speak. And yes, this will include discussion of the recent Sarah Palin video, but before we get to that, we've got other turkeys to deal with first.

Ben Franklin notwithstanding (who wrote his daughter a letter suggesting among other things that the wild turkey was a more appropriate symbol for America than the bald eagle), the word "turkey" has come to denote, in a slang sense (from dictionary.com): (a) a person or thing of little appeal; dud; loser, (b) a naive, stupid, or inept person, or (c) a poor and unsuccessful theatrical production; flop.

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Is Hillary Clinton eligible to become Secretary of State? Putting aside the question of what her chances of being appointed actually are (which I wrote about yesterday), is she even legally able to take the job if offered? The answer appears to be a strong "probably."

The question sounds like a technicality, but it is a technicality which comes straight out of the original text of the Constitution, which raises its profile a bit. From Article I, Section 6:

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The term "red herring" has been around for hundreds of years. It specifically refers to taking a smoked (and therefore pungent) herring and dragging it across the trail of a fugitive, in order to throw off the scent of any tracking dogs in pursuit. The term's use has evolved (with the help of mystery writers everywhere) to now mean any intentional misdirection used to draw attention from other events or motives. And while I could be proven wildly mistaken, I think the whole "Secretary of State Hillary Clinton" circus will prove to be nothing more than a gigantic red herring. Something smells fishy about it, to stretch the metaphor a bit.

Basing my reasoning on absolutely no hard facts (which I fully admit up front), here's the scenario that keeps suggesting itself to my addled brain (and which, to my surprise, doesn't seem to have suggested itself to anyone else): during the discussions between Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama (which took place between the end of the primary season and when she began campaigning for him), Hillary gets Barack to agree to this sideshow if he gets elected. She will be "offered" Secretary of State, which she will then decline "because there's so much to do in the Senate." But -- and here's the crux of my thinking -- she will gain by this situation by improving her prestige in the Senate and attaining more power than she normally would have (due to her low seniority status).

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At 12:39 PM (Alaska time) Democratic challenger Mark Begich led the incumbent (and convicted felon) Senator Ted Stevens by 2,374 votes -- an improvement of over 1,300 votes in today's tally. By my thumbnail estimates, there appear to be just over 10,000 ballots left to count, meaning that Stevens' defeat seems likely at this point.

Today was the day when the final 25,000 votes were supposed to be counted by the state of Alaska. Again, just from my off-the-cuff figuring, it appears that around 14,000 of these ballots have now been entered into the totals for both Begich and Stevens. Meaning Begich increased his lead by a net 1,300, out of just 14,000 votes cast. And from what I hear, the remaining votes to be tallied today come from two districts where Begich either ran even on election day, or had a strong lead over Stevens. Meaning it would be something of a shock now if Stevens reverses the trend to hang onto his seat.

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Immediately after the news broke that George Bush's administration has now agreed to a hard-and-fast timetable for withdrawal of all American troops in Iraq (all troops will be gone -- no matter what the situation on the ground is -- by the end of 2011), I got the following press release. Now, I'm on a lot of strange press lists, so I get a lot of strange press releases, but this is the first time I've ever gotten one from another dimension, I have to admit.

Here is the full text of the press release:

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I have to begin here today by stomping all over a cutesy term the media has come up with for the upcoming economic "summit" George W. Bush is holding this weekend. The newsies, in their exuberance, have taken to calling this meeting "Bretton Woods II."

To which I say: "No, it isn't. Please stop using this term. Thank you."

Because Bretton Woods "I" was the United Nations Monetary and Financial Conference, which was held at the Mount Washington Hotel near Bretton Woods, New Hampshire, at the end of World War II. This meeting of 44 allied nations set up the International Monetary Fund, and what was to become the World Bank. It also tried to set up an International Trade Organization, a half-century before the World Trade Organization was born (the U.S. Senate turned down the I.T.O. proposal back then, effectively killing it). This historic meeting lasted more than three weeks in July of 1944.

Bush's meeting is going to last six hours. And nobody expects it to come up with anything even close to the same magnitude of what happened in Bretton Woods. Nobody sane, that is. So please, media types, don't call it what it's not. Let's have some truth in advertising here. Call it "Desperate Bush Lame-Duck Photo-Op With World Leaders Who Would Really Rather Be Talking To Obama," if you have to slap a label on it. Because that's a lot closer to what it's going to be.

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The column I wrote yesterday has provoked a number of interesting comments, both here and at the Huffington Post. So today I would like to continue the conversation and attempt to explain myself further. [My policy is not to use anyone's login name without permission, but you can read the comments where they originally appeared if you'd like.]

First, let me begin by stating my biases in the matter: I don't like spam. I do like the First Amendment. I just wanted to get that out of the way, so you can spot any bias which might creep in to what I write here.

As I see it, the issue breaks down in a number of ways. The first question is anonymity -- do Americans have an absolute right to anonymity in political messages? The second question is technological -- is anonymity a right, no matter what the medium? And the third question seems to be political, and deal with campaign and election law -- what kinds of rules on speech are constitutionally allowable in politics?

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One of the more scurrilous 2008 campaign tactics (in a campaign seemingly full of them) had to have been those insidious "Have you heard... Barack Obama is a secret Muslim?!?" emails. These bounced hither and yon on the internet almost from the beginning of the campaign itself (or at the very least, since when it looked like Obama had a chance at the nomination). This sort of activity would likely fall into most people's "there ought to be a law" list -- a list of things worth changing in our election process. Unfortunately, the state Supreme Court of Virginia handed down a ruling in the midst of the campaign which may ultimately make any sort of limits on this sort of anonymous political (and technological) mudslinging actually unconstitutional. Meaning it would be impossible to pass any sort of laws against the practice at all.

This has enormous and chilling implications. Emails saying absolutely anything about a candidate (whether true, false, or viciously slanderous) could not only be sent anonymously, but whoever sends them would actually be allowed to break any sort of anti-spam laws to do so. Robocalls could be made with untraceable phone numbers, and untraceable accountability -- and lawmakers could not ban such practices, or even seek to regulate them. No matter what technologies arise in the future, security protocols with the intended purpose of verifying user identity may actually be unconstitutional as well. This would, no doubt, lead to an absolute avalanche of such messages in future campaigns; funded anonymously, sent anonymously, and with no accountability whatsoever.

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In honor of Sarah Palin, I ate two bowls of sugar cereal for breakfast, and am currently blogging in my pajamas. I am in my own house, and not in my parents' basement, but I can't do anything about that, sorry Sarah (actual quotes at end, in case you missed the fracas).

Oh, and by the way, Sarah -- how can we miss you if you won't leave?

[Ahem. Let me start over....]

OK, I know it's been a week and we've got to move on. The election is over, the dust has settled, and I really should be writing about something else rather than indulging in navel-gazing. But I can't help myself. I have to write one more article about the election, and in particular my picks. I apologize in advance. If you don't like watching someone else pat themselves on the back, then just skip today's article altogether and go out and decorate a veteran's grave. You have been warned.

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