The most amusing thing I heard last week was a possible-apocryphal story about a toddler who complained that all Mommy and Daddy wanted to do anymore was "watch the Map Show on television." But finally, after staring at that map all week long, on Saturday morning we all got the good news, as both Pennsylvania and Nevada were called for Joe Biden. Whether or not a news organization had called Arizona suddenly didn't even matter, because Biden was over the top with or without it. And 75 million people (and still counting) breathed the first big sigh of relief they have in four very long years, as the "Map Show" came to a glorious end. Donald Trump's presidency is not quite over yet, but the end is now clearly in sight.
Trump instantly became the two biggest things he truly hates: a loser, and irrelevant. No longer do we have to even care what he tweeted overnight when we wake up in the morning. Who cares what lunatic conspiracy theory he's ranting about now? Because it's almost over. It just doesn't matter that much anymore.
It's like a gigantic weight has been lifted. For the next four years, we will have a sane and non-psychopathic human being as president. No longer will parents have to explain to small children why the leader of our country is allowed to get away with embarrassing and degrading tweets that would get any of them kicked off Twitter in a heartbeat. No longer will science be held hostage to politics. No longer will the entire federal government ever have to contort itself to explain why what Trump said is somehow reality (when it so clearly is not).
Instead, even people within Trump's inner ranks are now admitting that all the lawsuits they're currently filing are no more than a sad attempt to make Trump feel better about losing. That's nothing short of pathetic, when you think about it. Trump is using the American legal system as nothing short of a security blanket. Actual lawsuits are being filed (and promptly laughed out of court) for the sole purpose of making President Linus Van Pelt feel better. About losing. Linus, at least, would have had a relevant Bible quote for the situation (probably something from the Old Testament), but that's obviously beyond Trump's meager abilities.
Trump has actually been pretty subdued -- for Trump -- ever since Election Day. He's ripped out a few deranged tweets, and given two equally-deranged appearances before the cameras, but that's not even par for Trump's course, really. It's been almost a week, after all. Twitter is mercilessly slapping on warning labels and blocking Trump's conspiratorial tweets with abandon. Jim Carrey called Trump the one thing he hates on Saturday Night Live -- a "loo-oo-oo-oo--ooooser." And Trump didn't even bother to explode in a rant against him. For Trump, this is indeed pretty subdued. He fired Mike Esper today, just to make himself feel better, but at this point it hardly matters. He can purge his inner ranks to his heart's content, but it really only means they'll miss two extra months' pay, since Joe Biden will be sweeping all of them into history's dustbin very soon now.
Joe Biden is already looking pretty presidential, by way of contrast. He gave a victory speech (finally!) on Saturday night that went over well, and then this morning he announced the formation of his COVID-19 transition task force, so he'll have a solid and detailed plan in place when he takes office in January. Even if Trump fires Dr. Anthony Fauci, he'll have a place to go, in other words. Biden did -- in one announcement -- what the nation has been desperately hoping for from Donald Trump since about February. Biden is assembling the experts, creating a plan of action, and preparing to deploy the full might of the federal government to fight this pandemic as competently as humanly possible. This plan will not take into account which party the governor of each state is from, because politics has no place in such an emergency. In short, Biden showed more competent leadership in one announcement than Trump has shown in nine whole months. And this was just the introductory announcement, mind you.
Biden will no doubt continue to act and be presidential in his upcoming statements to the press, and the entire focus of the political world is going to be on things like his cabinet choices and what executive orders he's going to sign on his first day in office (to instantly overturn all the worst ones Trump has issued during his single term). America won't immediately get back to normal, but we're at least now headed towards normalcy instead of further and further away from it. That's a welcome change indeed.
Meanwhile, it's a pretty safe assumption that Trump will continue to throw tantrums (both public and private) about his loss. But less and less attention will be paid. Trump will no longer be able to magically make himself the lead story on the news each night with a single tweet. Instead, people are just going to start shrugging their shoulders and saying: "Whatever...."
Trump will indeed make a few final headlines, when he finally gets around to realizing he has lost and that no amount of flailing around on the floor and screaming is going to change it. He'll likely begin issuing a tidal wave of pardons, starting with (perhaps) himself and (definitely) all his family members. He will also almost certainly pardon all his cronies and minions who went to jail -- but didn't turn on Trump. Michael Cohen, however, probably won't be one of them.
Donald Trump is fading, even within the Republican Party. Mitch McConnell is now exactly what he's always wanted to be -- the most powerful Republican in Washington. The real focus within the GOP is going to shift very soon now to all the 2024 hopefuls. My educated guess is that there will probably be at least two dozen Republicans who throw their hat in the presidential ring. Many of them will prudently wait until at least after the 2022 midterms to fully engage in the race, but you can already see a few others who have essentially started their 2024 campaigns (Ted Cruz, Marco Rubio, and possibly Lindsey Graham). For now, they're staunchly defending Trump's conspiracy theories. For now. But pretty soon they'll be running solely for themselves.
We all woke up yesterday to a bright new day. No longer will America be continually embarrassed by our own president. No longer will presidential ego be the most important variable in any policy equation. Viciousness and mean-spiritedness are about to exit the Oval Office for good. In their place we will all have decency and stability instead. Biden's campaign started with a big idea, and he'll now be able to work every day to achieve it: restoring the soul of America. And that is indeed a much brighter future to contemplate than another four years like the last four.
The best commentary I've read on how the majority of the country felt Saturday morning when Pennsylvania went blue came from one of the commenters on my site. Here's the whole stanza from the quoted poem (Lewis Carroll's "Jabberwocky"), because I can't think of a better way to end today's column:
"And hast thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!"
He chortled in his joy.
-- Chris Weigant
Follow Chris on Twitter: @ChrisWeigant
