Getting back to Silly Season 2012 here in America, though -- this is, of course, the official time of year when all the politicians in Washington take (according to them) a well-deserved break from doing the job they're paid to do, to enjoy a luxurious five-week vacation. Because, as we all know, the nation's business has been so fully accomplished that there's really nothing more for Congress to do in August, so they might as well take the month off, right?

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Peering into this fantastical realm, a broad array of fictional characters immediately leaps to mind, any one of which might help balance a Romney ticket. The following list is roughly ordered from least-likely to most-likely, for no other reason than to build suspense and keep you reading this silliness until the end. Where, perhaps, you'll be inspired to make your own suggestion (in the comments) as to a favorite who was inadvertently left off my list.

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In a surprise announcement today, the International Olympic Committee has filed a lawsuit against Mitt Romney and his entire family. Not, as some might have expected, for his recent comments about the London Olympics, but rather because Mitt has been using the term "Romney Olympics" to describe a summer festival held at his palatial vacation home, up to and including this year. The I.O.C. is famously protective of the term "Olympics" and who is allowed to use it, and according to their press release, they are merely protecting their brand. No word on what financial penalty the I.O.C. will be seeking, as an I.O.C. spokesperson told us, "We're going to have to subpoena Mitt's tax returns before we can answer that." He also added, "Mitt's dancing horse will be disqualified from the dressage event, as well."

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Even Truman's infamous "Do-Nothing Congress" actually managed to get a lot more done than what we've got now, folks

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Today, baseball holds its mid-season All-Star game. Which got me to thinking... maybe politics should put on a similar extravaganza, at least every two years while we're gearing up for election season.

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In other news, the Obama White House had rather a bad week... but again, we'll get to that in a moment.

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If either Gingrich or Santorum (or even Perry) had managed to cement their status as the alpha "not-Romney" in the race at this point, they might have had a chance in that fabled "two-man race" (or, more properly, "two-man-plus-Ron-Paul race"). Adding Gingrich and Santorum's support in South Carolina easily shows that Romney could have been defeated here, if the field had narrowed. Florida would even be in play, likely.

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I realize everyone is probably already sick of hearing predictions about the Iowa Republican caucuses, and if this does indeed describe you then you should probably go watch a football game or something -- because that's exactly what we're going to do today: throw prognosticatory Hawkeye darts at the wall, and take our chances as we may.

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We've been oppressed for so long, it just doesn't matter anymore. The government does what it wants when it wants. The name calling is going to stay around forever. But when you think about it, this is an insult.

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I don't write about sports very often. This column isn't even really about sports, either, it's about doing what is right. In baseball terms: "stepping up to the plate." The Los Angeles Dodgers baseball team needs to do so, because it is already overdue.

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