(6) There are quite a few Democratic leaders who need to make a public act of contrition to Howard Dean. He was right. His "50 state" strategy worked. He has been utterly and totally vindicated. Democrats picked up seats in the red-state bastions of Kansas, Montana, Colorado, Virginia, North Carolina, and Indiana. The "battleground states only" strategy should have a stake driven through its heart for good. Dean was right. Admit it and get over it. Then work towards building upon the foundation Dean has laid, in preparation for 2008.

(7) Put down the crack pipe and back away from "impeachment." This is not going to make me friends on the hard left, but everyone should just calm down and review their basic American Civics lessons.

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Senate

Close races:

Democrats win:
Maryland, Michigan, Minnesota, Missouri, Montana, New Jersey, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, Virginia, Washington.

Republicans win:
Arizona, Nevada, Tennessee.

Total:

Democrats -- 51

Republicans -- 49

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My 2006 Jack O'Lanterns. Spooky, eh?

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When immigrants are used as scapegoats to win elections, however, they remember it. When they vote -- even years later -- they are inclined to vote against the party that used such tactics.

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Democrats would strongly promise that immediately after the election they will send a delegation to the White House (from their newly-won congressional majorities) to sit down and create an exit strategy for Iraq; one that "saves face" for America -- and for Bush. Promise that all meetings will be absolutely closed-door, with no leaks. Furthermore, promise that all credit for the plan will be equally shared between Bush and Democrats (this is key). Promise that before the end of 100 days, a plan for moving forward will emerge. By doing this, Democrats would be seen by the electorate as actually being stronger on national defense than Republicans -- just by admitting that something needs to be done.

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I don't admire Reagan for much, but I have to admit he perfected the "brush-off" answer. He often did it with humor, he did it sometimes by being insufferably glib or patronizing -- but the result was the same, no matter how he pulled it off: whatever question he was responding to would never be asked again. One of many examples was when his advanced age was seen as an issue in the 1984 campaign, and he quipped during a debate: "I will not make age an issue of this campaign. I am not going to exploit, for political purposes, my opponent's youth and inexperience." It got a big laugh. And he got re-elected as the oldest President ever. This is a valuable political trait which earned Reagan the "Teflon" title, and it's a shame the Democrats can't seem to master it.

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(10) National emergency declared (for some reason or another), midterm elections cancelled. Attorney General Gonzales, backed by the Supreme Court, announces that all congressional elections are null and void, as the President as Unitary Executive (all praise His Name) will be dictating who will be allowed to serve in Congress, due to a Presidential signing statement that, unfortunately, you can't read (for reasons of national security, and the fact that we're at war, dammit); and due to the Omniscient Power of Our Fearless Leader George W. Bush -- long may His Holy Name be revered by the loving populace. Odds: too scary to compute

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"On Planet Republican, the Iraq war is in its 'last throes'... meanwhile back on Earth, the insurgency is on the brink of full-scale civil war."

"Five years ago, on Planet Republican, George Bush said he'd get Osama Bin Laden 'dead or alive'... but it took Democrats in Congress to bring him back to Earth and force him not to disband the CIA's Bin Laden unit."

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How insane is it that this is an election issue? What kind of country have we become? Even Colin Powell is pointing out that we're now taking the moral low road. Have we all forgotten all those World War II movies with the guy in a dirty lab coat and a thick German accent saying "Ve haff vays of makink you talk..."?

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There must be a final word of caution here. When playing sneaky politics, it's always a good idea to watch your back. Joe Lieberman has already proven twice that he puts his own personal ambition ahead of the interests of the party.

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