Fart Proudly In Philadelphia?
In 1781, Benjamin Franklin wrote a satirical letter, purporting to be a proposal for a subject for European scientists to study. Franklin, an amateur scientist himself, was making a snide point about what he considered to be rather frivolous research by the Europeans. The equivalent today would be those American politicians who routinely point out some of the more far-fetched research the federal government now funds. This tongue-in-cheek document is now known by the title "Fart Proudly," although Franklin didn't actually use that phrase in his satirical essay.
Franklin lays out his case that holding your farts in is actually dangerous to your health, so science should come up with a way to alleviate the odiferous problem so that everyone could, for lack of a better term, fart proudly:
It is universally well known, That in digesting our common Food, there is created or produced in the Bowels of human Creatures, a great Quantity of Wind.
That the permitting this Air to escape and mix with the Atmosphere, is usually offensive to the Company, from the fetid Smell that accompanies it.
That all well-bred People therefore, to avoid giving such Offence, forcibly restrain the Efforts of Nature to discharge that Wind.
That so retain'd contrary to Nature, it not only gives frequently great present Pain, but occasions future Diseases, such as habitual Cholics, Ruptures, Tympanies, &c. often destructive of the Constitution, & sometimes of Life itself.
Were it not for the odiously offensive Smell accompanying such Escapes, polite People would probably be under no more Restraint in discharging such Wind in Company, than they are in spitting, or in blowing their Noses.
My Prize Question therefore should be, To discover some Drug wholesome & not disagreable, to be mix'd with our common Food, or Sauces, that shall render the natural Discharges of Wind from our Bodies, not only inoffensive, but agreable as Perfumes.
In case you missed the fact that he was kidding, in his final paragraph Franklin ponders how pleasing it would be if everyone's farts smelled wonderful, which would thus give everyone the "Liberty of Expressing one's Scent-iments." His final word on the subject of what the Europeans were currently studying was that they were "scarcely worth a FART-HING." Franklin wasn't above tossing puns around with abandon (another vice normally frowned upon in polite company), and one can only imagine that if he were alive today he would be amused to hear the news that some Democrats -- in the town Franklin once called home -- will be organizing a "fart-in" at the upcoming Democratic National Convention.
Yes, you read that right. A fart-in. Beans are already arriving by the caseload from all points of the compass, in support of the protest. One organizer stated: "The fart-in is to raise attention about things that really stink in our society," and another explained:
[Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton] do not represent the American people. It's like they're reality-show characters, two villains who can't be trusted. It shows the level of absolute disgust that we're at -- we think we're going to remember 2016 as the year we begin to bury the two corporate political parties. It's really a shame -- this whole thing does stink. Democrats and Republicans are like Pepsi and Coke. They listen to corporations and they don't listen to anti-poverty activists.
The plan, according to the news article, is to: "feed beans to Democratic National Convention delegates for Bernie Sanders, and send them into the Philadelphia convention hall to show what they think of the former secretary of state." Beans will be provided in two "feeding locations" to entice delegates attending the convention with a number of varieties of beans to sample. The article also gives proper credit for the idea, noting: "Inspiration for the protest comes from Saul Alinsky, the community organizing theorist, who decades ago proposed a fart-in protest in Rochester, New York." See, just like the Republicans have always claimed, everything does reach back to the nefarious Saul Alinsky!
While one does sincerely hope that the ventilation system in Philly will be up to the task, you have to at least give the protesters points for creativity. Political protest and political theater always struggle to get noticed by the media, which has led to tactics designed to provide them with the click-bait "hook" the media so desperately craves. The Yippies refined this concept back in the 1960s (such as when they nominated a pig for president outside the 1968 Democratic National Convention), but the real expert at it in today's media environment is none other than Donald Trump, who routinely plays the media like a fiddle.
All kidding aside, however, this could be a year where the media is forced to pay more attention to what happens outside the conventions than the scripted campaign extravaganzas going on inside. Which could get interesting, to say the least.
Protesters have always shown up to political conventions -- at least going back to the fracas in Chicago in '68. Most of the time, their voices never get heard beyond those in earshot of the protest itself. At best, they might rate four or five seconds of video footage with a tossaway line about "and some protesters marched outside," without any coverage of the protest's message itself. The police and the conventions (and, shamefully, the courts) have conspired to further marginalize such protests, creating "free speech zones" where protests may officially happen -- usually miles away from where any delegate could possibly hear them. This legal pendulum is slowly swinging back to where it should be, I should add, since the Constitution actually designates the whole country as a "free speech zone" -- especially with regards to political speech.
This year, however, has seen wide divides in both political parties. There are a large number of people seriously dissatisfied with the way the primaries worked out. Add to this the usual partisan protests (Republicans protesting the Democratic convention, and vice versa), and the fact that the media is actually already primed to exploit the "serious divisions remain" storyline, and we might actually see some protests on television this time around.
The Republican National Convention is first on the calendar, and what everyone is wondering is whether the pro-Trump protesters and the anti-Trump protesters will clash in the streets of Cleveland. The New Black Panther Party ominously has called for protesters to (legally) carry firearms, "for protection" from the pro-Trump protesters. We've already seen several street battles between anti-Trump protesters and the police, anti-Trump protesters and pro-Trump crowds, as well as pro-Trump protesters reacting violently to anti-Trump protesters inside Trump rallies. The possibility for violence in Cleveland is very real, in other words. The media may be forced to cover protests just on the off chance that violence does erupt, to put this another way. If all goes well in Cleveland, though, less attention will be paid to any protests in Philadelphia, since few really now expect the progressive or liberal protests to end in such chaos.
Violence should never be the "media hook" for any organized protest, it almost goes without saying. Getting coverage in this way always backfires, as most Americans recoil in disgust when seeing streetfighting -- even when it comes from people they would otherwise agree with. Humor has always been a better tactic, because by making the story outlandish and hilarious, protesters can gain coverage that they otherwise wouldn't get -- and be able to actually make their serious point (after the initial laughs die down) to a much wider audience than they'd normally reach (which usually consists solely of those walking by on the sidewalk, at the time).
I am a member of the media myself, much as that occasionally embarrasses me. As such, I will not be taking part in protests in Philadelphia but rather attempting to cover them as news. So I will not be partaking of the free beans, but I might just talk to a few people who are. Whether a real stink is raised in the convention hall or whether the air conditioning prevents it, I have to say that the organizers of the "fart-in" have certainly gotten my attention. In the spirit of Saul Alinsky, in the spirit of 1968 Yippie nominee "Pigasus," and in the spirit of Philadelphia's most famous Founding Father, I believe that people deserve to know whether this year's Democratic conventioneers will be farting proudly or not.
-- Chris Weigant
Cross-posted at The Huffington Post
Follow Chris on Twitter: @ChrisWeigant
Will the convention hall be declared a "Free Fart Zone"? Will conventioneers cast their fate to the wind and let er rip in protest? Will Sen. Sanders join in the fart fest? Will thousands of hot, sweaty, farting people crash the ventilation system? Stay on top of it CW. Inquiring minds want to know...
After a fairly protracted discussion spanning several days/posts following the mass shooting in Dallas, I was inspired to start collecting a new set of daily anecdotes. My question to random people: Have you given and/or received “the talk”?
We'll see how it goes --
Today's Anecdote.
Out walking the dog.
3 men emptying out a house with a for-sale sign. Carrying out a washing machine and mattress.
2 white men, 1 man who turned to have come from Colombia, South America.
I asked if they had ever given or received “the talk” about how to conduct themselves around the police. They asked me to explain. I said that within the black community, so I’ve heard, adults sit down and at some point and explain to their children that they must be cooperative, polite, etc. to the police. Had they received that talk or given it?
First white man walked away at that point to take a phone call.
Second white man (age 50) said no he never received it but he did deliver it to his nephew a few years ago, who was 18 at the time. He said young people don’t take it seriously and need to be more polite in general.
Colombian man (42) said he grew up in Medellin, Colombia where you practically had an entire high-school class on avoiding problems with the police. He said he hadn’t thought it was necessary here but now he’s not so sure.
They were quite friendly and animated.
A few blocks away I spoke to a group of 3 gathered in a driveway. All black. Had they ever given and/or received “the talk”? They knew exactly what I meant. They were receptive, friendly, answered immediately.
Woman (48): Both
Man (49) Both
Man (51): Received, never given.
Thank you, Paula. I enjoy your woman on the street reporting...
@CW,
As such, I will not be taking place in protests in Philadelphia
i think you meant you will "not be taking part"
JL
@paula,
having been to medellin, the cops there make the cops here look like mister rogers.
JL
Nice humor piece, we need more chuckles in this election...Fart power for all...Nice work CW..
Paula, nice man on the street idea...look forward to more.
JL [5]- Totally agree... Rio is another that makes our police look like cuddle bunnies....but I will will admit to a certain pleasure in watching a 4.5 ft female police office toss her batton like a boomerang to take down a running thief.... or Valpariso where they drive police cars in the downtown that look like they cam straight out of Mad Max.
Paula,
Hmmmm, I recognize that question! ;D I am so glad that there was someone from a place that was a true "police state" to answer that. I always wonder when people claim we have a "police state" in the U.S. if they have any idea of what that term means!
Has anyone else seen the Donald & Hobbes cartoons? It's actual Calvin & Hobbes cartoons that have Calvin's head replaced with Trump's. It is hilarious, and down right scary at how spot on the dialogue is!
The Republican National Convention is first on the calendar, and what everyone is wondering is whether the pro-Trump protesters and the anti-Trump protesters will clash in the streets of Cleveland. The New Black Panther Party ominously has called for protesters to (legally) carry firearms, "for protection" from the pro-Trump protesters.
Which is rather ironic because the facts clearly show that it's the TRUMP supporters who need protection from the anti-Trump morons...
If all goes well in Cleveland, though, less attention will be paid to any protests in Philadelphia, since few really now expect the progressive or liberal protests to end in such chaos.
Heh.. Apparently, you haven't been watching the news of these liberal/progressive protests.. :D
Michale
Listen,
Hmmmm, I recognize that question! ;D I am so glad that there was someone from a place that was a true "police state" to answer that. I always wonder when people claim we have a "police state" in the U.S. if they have any idea of what that term means!
Because it's all about hysterical ideology and nothing to do with the facts...
Michale
Second white man (age 50) said no he never received it but he did deliver it to his nephew a few years ago, who was 18 at the time. He said young people don’t take it seriously and need to be more polite in general.
So, you would agree that the "police talk" is NOT just a black thing...
Progress.... That's progress...
Michale
Woot!!! Not one single double tap!!! :D
Michale
As such, I will not be taking place in protests in Philadelphia
i think you meant you will "not be taking part"
Or he could mean, he will "not be taking a place in..."
:D
Michale
After a fairly protracted discussion spanning several days/posts following the mass shooting in Dallas, I was inspired to start collecting a new set of daily anecdotes. My question to random people: Have you given and/or received “the talk”?
And let's face reality here... In the vast majority of the black community there is no father to give "the talk"...
The black kid will, more likely than not, get "the talk" from a gang-banger leader and I would most likely consist, not of respecting police, but how best to kill police....
Michale
@don,
taking part, making fart - tuhmaytuh, towmahtow
JL
TEBOW!!! TEBOW!!!! TEBOW!!!
http://www.nytimes.com/2016/07/14/us/politics/republican-convention-speakers-donald-trump.html?_r=0
:D
Michale
[9] Thanks Don!
[3] apophis: thanks!
Looks like it's Pence for Trumps VP...
Let the hysterical personal attacks commence... :D
Michale
"PENCE!!!!???? He likes to bugger dogs behind the outhouse!!!"
-The Left Wingery
:D
Michale
Two good things about Pence as VP. He brings four years of executive experience to the ticket which Trump needs and dropped his re-election bid for governor which Indiana needs...
Heh.
Two good things about Pence as VP. He brings four years of executive experience to the ticket which Trump needs
So that's a good thing for the Trump campaign...
Kewl... :D
Michale
There will be some awkward moments on a couple of issues, but they'll work it out. Pence is good for Trump. Not only four years of executive experience, but 12 years in Congress. To bad Ann Coulter against the pick, but what does she know...
So, who do ya'all think Crooked Hillary is going to pick???
Faux-Chohantas?? :D
Michale
Been out of pocket, if I may play catch up:
First, I wanted to truly thank Michale for welcoming me to the group though it feels less like Die Hard and more like Draco Malfoy welcoming me to Hogwarts.
As for "the talk", I got one but from a different perspective. Full disclosure, I am a common garden-variety white boy raised middle class in the 70s but had a father employed in law enforcement. Point one was not to litigate your case on the side of the road, tell it to the judge later when everybody has cooled off. If stopped, pleasantly give the officer your info (and concealed handgun license if applicable). If stopped at night, turn on your interior dome light and keep both hands visible. When you are done (even if you got a ticket) shake the officer's hand and wish him a safe day.
On the other hand, he also reminded me that there is a fine line between harassment and enforcement and a large percentage of police officers are in it for the power and authority of the gun and badge. The tickets I escaped came only after the arresting officer figured out who my father was, even when I was under age with a cooler of beer.
As for the column title, I swear I recall a few years ago somebody developing a food additive that allowed one to select their favorite aroma for public gassing. Seems like a lot of trouble, we all know that OURS don't really smell that bad.
Haven't a clue who Clinton will pick. Probably won't be Warren. Her and Hilly don't really get along and Wall St. says NO. What's your guess?..
[16] And let's face reality here... In the vast majority of the black community there is no father to give "the talk"...
The black kid will, more likely than not, get "the talk" from a gang-banger leader and I would most likely consist, not of respecting police, but how best to kill police….
You betray your bigotry on a daily basis, with all the unselfconsciousness of the truly oblivious.
[28] Steedo: Interesting. Thanks for your comment!
I wish Hillary would go with Tom Perez or Al Franken. Not excited by Tim Kaine at this point, although maybe he'll grow on me if he gets the nod and we learn more about him.
Franken is my Sen. in deep blue MN. A good man, but not much help. Castro of Texas looks good, and would be my guess...
the pundits seem to think kaine from virginia will be hillary's pick.
apophis [1] -
OK, now THAT was funny!
:-)
nypoet22 [4] -
You are entirely correct. It has been duly changed. Mea culpa for the error!
-CW
Don Harris [7] -
OK, that was pretty funny too!
:-)
ListenWhenYouHear [10] -
Got a link? That sounds pretty amusing...
Steedo [28] -
Michale as Draco Malfoy... now there's an image that's going to stick with me for a while... heh...
:-)
As for veep choices... today's column is now up! Check it out!
-CW
CW,
Here is the article from HuffPost.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/trump-in-calvin-and-hobbes-comic-strips-is-frighteningly-accurate_us_5783bbc1e4b01edea78eb57a
You betray your bigotry on a daily basis, with all the unselfconsciousness of the truly oblivious.
In what way???
The facts clearly show that I am right...
If you have any FACTS to dispute what I have posted, by all means.. List them...
But you can't because there are no facts to dispute my comments..
Michale
Steedo,
First, I wanted to truly thank Michale for welcoming me to the group though it feels less like Die Hard and more like Draco Malfoy welcoming me to Hogwarts.
Oh great.. Now I have to watch another series of movies to understand the reference. :D
heh
As for "the talk", I got one but from a different perspective. Full disclosure, I am a common garden-variety white boy raised middle class in the 70s but had a father employed in law enforcement. Point one was not to litigate your case on the side of the road, tell it to the judge later when everybody has cooled off. If stopped, pleasantly give the officer your info (and concealed handgun license if applicable). If stopped at night, turn on your interior dome light and keep both hands visible. When you are done (even if you got a ticket) shake the officer's hand and wish him a safe day.
All good and excellent advice...
On the other hand, he also reminded me that there is a fine line between harassment and enforcement and a large percentage of police officers are in it for the power and authority of the gun and badge.
I would argue the "large percentage" part, but have nothing but my personal experience to rely one..
I have met my share of jerks, to be sure.. But, by and large, those on the ego trips, usually self-weed themselves out...
Seems like a lot of trouble, we all know that OURS don't really smell that bad.
That's what I keep telling my lovely wife.... But does she believe me!?? Nooooooooo Of course not...
Michale
apophis,
Love typing that!! :D
Haven't a clue who Clinton will pick. Probably won't be Warren. Her and Hilly don't really get along and Wall St. says NO. What's your guess?..
Because of the fight over the Senate, I don't think Reid will let Hillary choose any sitting Senator that would flip the seat to the GOP...
And I agree that Hillary and Warren are not likely. As I have said, Hillary is as much of an egoist as Trump is, she's just better at hiding it. Warren will upstage Hillary and Hillary will not like that...
Franken is a good possibility, but the ads write themselves..
THE VP IS A JOKE
A good VP pick is designed to shore up the candidate with a constituency that the candidate has a problem with... Hillary doesn't need a bandaid for the hispanic vote, so it's likely not Perez...
Hillary needs help with the Youth Vote, so it's likely going to be Miley Cyrus....
That will also get Hillary the druggie and tongue-wagger vote as well..
Michale
apophis,
Love typing that!! :D
Haven't a clue who Clinton will pick. Probably won't be Warren. Her and Hilly don't really get along and Wall St. says NO. What's your guess?..
Because of the fight over the Senate, I don't think Reid will let Hillary choose any sitting Senator that would flip the seat to the GOP...
And I agree that Hillary and Warren are not likely. As I have said, Hillary is as much of an egoist as Trump is, she's just better at hiding it. Warren will upstage Hillary and Hillary will not like that...
Franken is a good possibility, but the ads write themselves..
THE VP IS A JOKE
A good VP pick is designed to shore up the candidate with a constituency that the candidate has a problem with... Hillary doesn't need a bandaid for the hispanic vote, so it's likely not Perez...
Hillary needs help with the Youth Vote, so it's likely going to be Miley Cyrus....
That will also get Hillary the druggie and tongue-wagger vote as well..
Michale
You betray your bigotry on a daily basis, with all the unselfconsciousness of the truly oblivious.
I'll follow up on this over the next couple days to see if you came up with any facts to dispute my conclusions..
In the mean time.....
In 1950, 17 percent of African-American children lived in a home with their mother but not their father. By 2010 that had increased to 50 percent. In 1965, only eight percent of childbirths in the Black community occurred out-of-wedlock. In 2010 that figure was 41 percent; and today, the out-of-wedlock childbirth in the Black community sits at an astonishing 72 percent. The number of African-American women married and living with their spouse was recorded as 53 percent in 1950. By 2010, it had dropped to 25 percent.
http://yourblackworld.net/2013/03/02/the-black-family-is-worse-off-today-than-in-the-1960s-report-shows/
"Just the fax, ma'am... Just the fax.."
-John McClane, DIE HARD III, Live Free Or Die Hard
Michale
ListenWhenYouHear [37] -
OK, those were both funny and eerie... especially the one with the snow fort...
Thanks for the link!
:-)
-CW
You betray your bigotry on a daily basis, with all the unselfconsciousness of the truly oblivious.
I have supported my position with facts...
You haven't supported your position at all..
The conclusion is confirmed...
Michale