The title of this piece quotes the well-known philosopher Jeremy Hilary Boob, PhD. The full quote is, of course:
Ad hoc, ad loc, and quid pro quo
So little time! So much to know!
and comes to us from the Beatles movie Yellow Submarine, right before singing a song about Boob, Nowhere Man.
If you think this is building up to some deep and meaningful point, well, it's not. Sorry to disappoint you.
Because today, for your humble author, the Real World has demanded my full attention, so instead of well-thought out and well-reasoned prose, today we're just going to have a little fun with language.
The following comes from a list sent to me by one of our far-flung correspondents, and seemed perfect for a hastily-written attempt to fill today's column space. The first one on the list is most likely familiar to anyone who has frequented the comments area of just about any political blog over the years, but the remainder of the list will likely give you a few ten-dollar Latin words with which to impress your friends and drinking buddies.
So, in the spirit of the "open thread" for today's comments, I give you a list of argument types to avoid. I have added, for your reading pleasure, a loosely-translated example (very loosely, in some cases) from the second-grade schoolyard playground (to provide clarification, of course, and not to engage in cheap attempts at humor or anything of that nature). So here are fallacious arguments for everyone to argue about today. All should properly be preceded by "argumentum" if you want to get picky.
Ad hominem -- personal attack on the opponent
"You're a poopy-head!"
Ad baculum -- threat of violence
"Oh yeah? I'm going to kick your butt, you poopy-head!"
Ad ignorantium -- lack of contrary evidence
"Oh yeah? You and what army?"
Ad misericordiam -- agree with me, or you'll hurt my feelings
"I'm going to cry and tell the teacher you hit me if you don't agree!"
Ad invidiam -- you don't agree because you're jealous
"You know I'm right because the teacher likes me better."
Ad verecundiam -- I'm right because I'm more important than you
"Who do you think the teacher's going to believe, you or me?"
Ad populum -- everybody believes this
"Everyone knows you're a poopy-head!"
Ad nauseam -- endless repetition
"I know you are, but what am I? I know you are but what am I?"
Ad novitatem -- My idea is new, therefore it is right
"You are so uncool. We're cool, and you're a poopy-head."
Ad antiquitatem -- My idea is old, therefore it is right
"I'm older than you are, therefore I'm right and you're a baby poopy-head."
Ad crumenam -- I'm right because I'm rich
"My Daddy makes more money than yours does!"
Ad lazarum -- I'm right because I'm poor
"Gimme your lunch money, poopy-head!"
-- Chris Weigant
Follow Chris on Twitter: @ChrisWeigant