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When we were all kids, "recess" was one of the happiest words in the English language, because it meant escaping the schoolroom for a while, and (on nice days) getting outside and running around and playing with our friends. The bell would ring, and we would all cry "Recess!" and run outside.
It's that time of year again -- when we turn our eyes to Lake Superior State University (in beautiful Sault Ste. Marie, Michigan), and their official list of this year's banished words.
The Head Elf turns back to his iPad. "Mitch McConnell says he wants some media attention. He complains they all ignore him and run to John Boehner instead. Boehner, on the other hand, wants less attention paid to the fact that he can't control his own caucus."
Peggy Noonan, a consummate Washington insider with impeccable conservative credentials, recently came up with a nice turn of phrase to describe Newt Gingrich: "He is a human hand grenade who walks around with his hand on the pin, saying, 'Watch this!' " Back in Newt's heyday, the comic strip Doonesbury portrayed Gingrich as a lit bomb with a short fuse, who would occasionally explode with a bang. Right and Left seem to be in agreement on Newt's resemblance to trinitrotoluene, in other words (or, maybe, "Newtroglycerine"?). Which leaves only one key question to be answered: When, exactly, will this "Newtsplosion" take place?
I'm told we still have a few hundred raffle tickets left, so please, folks, get to the raffle booths soon or they'll all be gone! Only a million bucks a ticket -- mere pocket change!
In a surprise move today, the seven major Republican candidates for president (who are not named "Mitt Romney") decided to merge their campaigns, and run as a single corporate "person" they are now calling "Anybody But Romney, Incorporated."
[Cue: Rattling chains and spooky organ music, topped off with a terrifying high-pitched scream...]
Last week (as with this week) the subject de semaine was "class warfare." The comment which inspired this week's mini-rants contained a simple, repetitive concept: "When [something outrageous pushed by Republicans happens], nobody calls it 'class warfare'. Maybe we should."
Well, it's been great fun and all, but we are sorry to inform you that your viable candidacy for the Republican presidential nomination is hereby over.
We're all sick and tired of the debt ceiling debate, so I'm just going off on a complete tangent today for a little grammar rant. Hope no one minds.