With Every Flush

[ Posted Tuesday, June 24th, 2008 – 12:54 UTC ]

One might think that this column, after sinking pretty low on the juvenile-humor scale yesterday, would rise above such cheap humor today. One would be wrong. Today, this column sinks even lower. Consider this a warning. Perhaps by tomorrow this column can reclaim the heights of seriousness to which you, dear reader, have become accustomed... but for today, this is just too good to pass up.

From the front page of the San Francisco Chronicle today comes a story on the continuing efforts of the Presidential Memorial Commission of San Francisco. "Wow," one might think, "that's a pretty gosh-darned patriotic name!" If one met this group on the street, one would also think "there's a patriotic bunch of folks," since they routinely dress up as Uncle Sam and wave big flags and have patriotic music playing on their boom box. However, this would depend entirely on one's definition of "patriotic."

Personally, it fits mine -- but you will have to judge for yourself.

Because this group is gathering signatures for a local ballot initiative in San Francisco. Here is the text of their ballot initiative:

Should The City And County of San Francisco Rename The Oceanside Water Pollution Control Plant the George W Bush Sewage Plant?

You've just got to love that pure, unfiltered direct democracy at work. Unless you're a Republican living in San Francisco (yes, there are a few... I think the city had some sort of affirmative action program a few years ago to import some... ahem). But others, including plumbers (who should know), were more forgiving. From the Chronicle article:

"It's a very simple yes or no question, and there's no real fiscal impact -- just the cost of relettering the sign in front of the plant," said organizer Brian McConnell. "This is the way the democratic process is supposed to work, even though it's a silly idea in some people's eyes."

Silly might be an understatement. Howard Epstein, chair of the San Francisco Republican Party, called the measure an abuse of the system and "loony bin direct democracy." He vowed to "use all means" to defeat the measure if it qualifies for the ballot. That includes those very expensive glossy mailers, he said.

"There's no use other than to make these nutcases feel good," Epstein said. "It's typical San Francisco crazies."

Still, most people approached on a recent Sunday seemed open to the idea, even if they all didn't stop to sign the petition.

Bright Winn, a San Francisco plumber, enthusiastically gave his signature to the cause.

"(Bush) has always done well for the affluent of America, and anyone that does well for the affluent should be named for the effluent," he said.

The whole article is a hoot to read, and I highly recommend it. If the people behind the initiative win, they're going to organize a "timed flush" on Inaugural Day as a goodbye present delivered directly to the outgoing President George W. Bush's new namesake -- a plant designed to remove human waste from the water.

When history books are written in the future, some of them will doubtlessly include this footnote: "As George W. Bush left office with the lowest approval ratings of any president in the history of taking such measurements, the citizens of the city of San Francisco chose to honor him by renaming a waste treatment plant on the day he left office." Think about it -- San Franciscans could memorialize George W. Bush, forever, with every flush of the toilet.

Call me juvenile if you will, but that, to me, would be the perfect final word on the presidency of George Walker Bush.


-- Chris Weigant


7 Comments on “With Every Flush”

  1. [1] 
    fstanley wrote:

    Great - where do I sign!


  2. [2] 
    Michale wrote:

    And the Hysterical Left wonders why mainstream American won't take it seriously.. :^/

    Well, I guess the Hysterical Right has it's Hillary Clinton Nut Cracker.. So the Hysterical Left can have it's George Bush Sewage Treatment Plant..

    And meanwhile, John Q America just quietly sighs and shakes his head at both...


  3. [3] 
    akadjian wrote:

    Perfect. He needs a "throne" to suit!

    Monarchy Now!

  4. [4] 
    Michale wrote:

    "When one ridicules and debases one's opponent, they ridicule and debase their own argument."


  5. [5] 
    akadjian wrote:

    You're starting to sound like the culture police, Michale. When did you join the politically correct fascistas?

    What if your opponent was a terrorist? Shall we appease them and refrain from dropping ridicule bombs on them?

    Or a communist or a Muslim or a homosexual or a hippie or a woman or a Democrat? What then?

    To be honest, I'm in favor, but only if we exempt the following: Islamofascist, towel head, hippie, tree hugger, leftist, Defeatocrat, communist, faggot, loony, moon bat, liberal, elitist, drag queen, 'ho, hooker, homo, sissy, welfare queen, good-for-nothing, homeless, hobo, wombat, wimp, bitch, Jew, 'Spic, 'Chink, Canadian, welftard, poor, woman, and duty head. (My nephew made me put in the last one.)

    I don't know which conservative organization you're working for, but at Monarchy Now!, without ridicule, we don't have much of an argument.

    Monarchy Now!
    Long live the notion of a king!

  6. [6] 
    Chris Weigant wrote:

    akadjian -

    Grammar Police here. You sure your nephew didn't mean "doody head"??

    Heh heh.


  7. [7] 
    akadjian wrote:

    Hahahah. I doo believe you are correct. Grammar, the bane of my exissstence. Also, spelling.

    Monarchy Now!

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