Things have gotten so bad in Washington that both pundits and Republicans are beginning to use the "N-word" to describe the president. No, no... not that N-word! Instead, Obama is now actively being compared to Nixon. This comparison is patently...

...WE INTERRUPT THIS COLUMN FOR BREAKING NEWS -- We here at FTP News Network have obtained exclusive before-and-after photos of Angelina Jolie's breasts! In these side-by-side shots, the viewer can easily see the transformation of two of the most famous breasts on the planet. As the camera zooms in and pans around our 3-D representation, we will utter pious thoughts on cancer screening which you won't pay the slightest attention to. Later, we'll have our resident nipple expert in to discuss what you're seeing now...

Sheesh. Now, before anyone gets too irate, allow me to state that the preceding paragraph is (1) entirely fictional -- we have no exclusive shots of anyone's breasts, sorry; and (2) intended to satirize the media's take on any news item with the word "breast" in it -- and not Angelina Jolie, Angelina Jolie's breasts, breast cancer, any cancer, cancer screening, or medical decisions by anyone.

Seriously, consider that there is one medical procedure which gets shown on television in pretty much any breast story: mammogram images. Are pale silhouettes of any other body part ever routinely shown on television news, for any reason? I don't recall any testicular cancer or prostate cancer stories with such graphics, personally. Nor X-rays displayed after a story about someone getting injured. Not only are the mammogram images seemingly mandatory, but television news will also gratuitously throw in an image of a woman undergoing the procedure, just for kicks. What woman really wants a video of her boobs getting squashed by a machine to be on the news, after all? This was all on full display this week with the Angelina Jolie story, complete with CGI shots of (you just can't make this stuff up) how "the nipples were saved."

Am I the only one who has noticed this? Seems like there'd be a cries of "blatant sexism!" but if there have been, I guess I haven't noticed.

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There are several metaphors to describe the week President Obama is having. Firefighting. Damage control. Playing defense. Today, however, I went with "weathering the storms" because of the unfortunate optics of Obama giving an outdoor press conference today under an umbrella, as the skies dripped down. Into each president's life some rain must fall, in other words.

While Obama had Marines handy to provide umbrella cover during the presser, the bigger question is how he's weathering the metaphorical storms blowing through Washington this week. There are really four of these, although the media seems fixated on only three.

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Is it time for Attorney General Eric Holder to (as is frequently said in politics) "spend some more time with his family"?

I must admit, it's hard for me to be impartial and unbiased in suggesting that it might be time for Holder to step down. One of my biggest disappointments with President Obama's transition to his second term was the announcement that Holder would be staying on, instead of turning the Justice Department over to someone else. I don't personally dislike Holder (I've never met the man), but I do strongly question his priorities during his time as the nation's Attorney General. To give just one example: there are no bankers currently in jail because they illegally contributed to the wrecking of the American economy, even though it happened almost five years ago. Holder's "too big to jail" legacy of backing down to Wall Street is enough, in my opinion, to begin the search for a fresh face at the Justice Department.

Since I've admitted my own bias, allow me to first make the case for Holder staying where he is. Holder does not have a central role in any of the three scandals currently swirling around Washington. The Benghazi talking points issue was a tug-of-war between the CIA and the State Department. The IRS is a division of the Treasury Department. Although the third scandal does emanate from the Justice Department, Holder has stated that he recused himself from the whole process of investigating the leaks and in getting the Associated Press' phone records -- which would seem to let him off that particular hook. Holder may now become involved in the IRS scandal, as part of a criminal probe into whether any federal laws were broken by anyone at the agency, but that's in the future, and had nothing whatsoever to do with whatever happened there in the past.

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Looks like I spoke too soon. Last Thursday, I posted an article about the expected good news on the federal budget deficit for 2013. Today, the actual numbers were released. They are even better than expected.

After churning the data for the first two quarters of fiscal year 2013, the Congressional Budget Office is now predicting a deficit of $642 billion this year. This is down over $200 billion from their first-quarter estimate, mind you. They are also projecting a deficit of only $378 billion for next year.

As is my wont, I decided to put this into chart form, so here you go:

[Click on graph to see larger-scale version.]

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The scandal currently unfolding at the Internal Revenue Service is actually being downplayed by some who feel that tax investigations into groups advocating an anti-tax attitude is more than justified on the face of it. Admittedly, all the facts are not yet in, but the scandal started when the IRS itself actually publicly admitted wrongdoing. So while there's a question of who knew about it (and who should be fired), the fact that scandalous behavior was happening isn't really even in question. Because it was, indeed, scandalous behavior. Any time a federal agency decides to intimidate those in the political arena in any way, large or small, it should be seen as a scandal by everyone -- no matter your political leanings. Because we've seen what happens when this sort of thing is allowed and encouraged, and it isn't a pretty sight.

The power to use the legal and police services of the federal government as leverage against your political opponents is a tempting one indeed, which is why both parties have done so in the past when they thought they could get away with such blatant violations of the Constitution. We've even lived through a very long period when this power got so out of control that one man held blackmailable material on United States presidents, Supreme Court justices, and too many members of Congress to count. This information was gathered systematically, by illegally wiretapping phone lines and bugging hotel rooms, as well as plenty of other underhanded (and, again, unconstitutional) methods. The man behind this effort was none other than J. Edgar Hoover.

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Being a student of the political lexicon, I would like to propose a new definition for an old term -- a term we've all used since roughly the second grade. I refer, of course, to the "wedgie." For those who are astoundingly unaware of what this term literally means, I would refer you to your local second-grader (pick any boy age 7 or 8 and ask him... and after he rolls around the floor screaming with laughter for awhile, he'll explain and even demonstrate the "wedgie" for you, I'm sure). Ahem.

But I propose a new definition for the wedgie, one in the adult political realm which has nothing to do with underwear (to clarify: the definition has nothing to do with underwear -- the adult political realm often has all too much to do with underwear). My new proposed definition:

Wedgie: When a political party's "wedge" issue turns on them and instead of dividing the other party, begins to divide their own.

Usage: "Boy, the Republicans are really getting a giant wedgie on immigration, aren't they?"

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The arguments over the federal budget deficit may be about to turn a corner, of sorts. Republicans have been expecting a gigantic budget fight to happen anywhere from now to the middle of the summer, forced by the deadline of the debt ceiling. This fight may not actually happen, though, and it's for a fairly stunning reason: earlier projections of when we would hit the debt ceiling are proving pessimistically wrong, and we may not actually hit it until October -- which is into next year, in budgeting terms (the federal fiscal year starts on the first of October). This could shift the entire paradigm of the political battle over the deficit and debt from one of pointing fingers of blame to one of scrambling to claim credit for policies that "are now working." Which will -- if it happens as now predicted -- make for an interesting change in the debate's dynamic, to say the least.

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No matter the definitions used, the United States of America has not been directly attacked by an enemy's military very often throughout its history. The biggest attack wasn't even on a state, since Hawai'i was only a territory at the time of Pearl Harbor. There's an even shorter list of times and places where American soil has been occupied by a foreign army. Roughly 200 years ago, the British held parts of the New England coastline in the War of 1812 and they burned down Washington, DC. Closer in time -- exactly 70 years ago this month -- American forces fought a mostly-forgotten battle to retake two of the Aleutian Islands from the Japanese. Starting on May 11, 1943 and lasting more than two weeks, the Battle of Attu Island was successfully fought on what is now the westernmost point of the United States. Though not often mentioned in the list of famous World War II battles in the Pacific, it was indeed an important strategic victory for America and deserves to be remembered.

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I tried to wait to write this until the election returns for South Carolina's special House election were in, but it looks like it's going to take awhile. Currently, only four percent of precincts are in, and the numbers have been bouncing wildly around, so it's too soon to tell what's going to happen in the race between Mark Sanford (R -- Appalachian Trail) and Democrat Elizabeth Colbert Busch, sister to Stephen Colbert.

But I have to say, my expectations for this House seat are pretty low. Even should Busch pull out the victory, the chances of her retaining her seat in 2014 are not all that great. This is a district which voted for Mitt Romney to the tune of 6-in-10 in the 2012 election, after all.

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Leveling Out

Welcome back once again to our monthly examination of President Barack Obama's job approval polling numbers. In April, Obama's numbers returned to a normal level, after experiencing a very short post-election "honeymoon period" with the public which bounced his numbers up to a peak, and then bounced them right back down again. You can plainly see this effect in this month's chart:

[Click on graph to see larger-scale version.]

April, 2013

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