As of this writing (the prices change almost hourly, now), the average nationwide price of a gallon of gasoline in America stands at $4.26 per gallon. At the start of this calendar year, in early January, that price was $2.75 per gallon. That means it has risen by $1.51 per gallon (basic math).

Could we be nearing an actual exit ramp in the war of choice Donald Trump started with Iran? It's hard to tell -- these diplomatic negotiations often look completely unproductive right up until both sides agree to some sort of deal, so anything's really possible. This weekend didn't see any tangible progress, as Iran refused to meet face-to-face with the U.S. team in Pakistan, which forced Trump to announce (for the second time in a week) that the U.S. team wouldn't even be flying out to Pakistan at all. This was a pretty big snub by the Iranians, but then again who knows if they had actually agreed to sit down and talk this weekend in the first place? With the best source of information being Donald Trump, you always have to wonder how much is the truth and how much of it is lies and bluster.

Trump is attempting to define the war the way he usually does, by gaslighting and openly lying, in the hopes that everyone will start believing his lies rather than paying attention to reality. Or just by constantly contradicting himself, showing he doesn't really have a clue as to what is really going on. The Iranians, however, aren't playing his game. They responded with a withering: "The President of the United States made seven claims in one hour, all seven of which were false. They did not win the war with these lies, and they will certainly not get anywhere in negotiations either." Iran then promptly closed the Strait back down and attacked two ships (to show they were serious). So the U.S. attacked an Iranian ship and seized it by force. The Iranians responded by seizing a few ships by force in the Strait.

I shouldn't be so snarky, I suppose. Because in this case, Donald Trump chickening out is a very good thing indeed. As the world waited with baited breath to see whether the two-week ceasefire between Iran and the United States was going to end without a deal being reached between the two countries -- which would have assumably meant Trump making good on his threats to bomb every power plant and bridge in Iran -- Trump put out the following message:

I don't quite know how else to put it, really. Trying to keep up with political events when every headline seems like it could be just as easily have read "More Chaos Ensues" is a downright daunting task. Donald Trump's "flood the zone" strategy is tough enough to keep up with as it is, but at this point it is almost impossible to comment intelligently about any of the most impactful stories of the day because of the constant contradictions and incoherence emanating from the White House.

The best commentary we heard about all of this came from Representative Sydney Kamlager-Dove, a Democrat from California. As an aside in an eye-opening comment she made to a reporter (more on this in a bit), she called Trump, "this dude, Dr. Jesus...." Which is where our headline today came from (to give credit where it is due).

High-ranking representatives from the United States and Iran sat across a table from each other in Pakistan last weekend, which is notable since it is the first such direct bilateral talks between the two countries since the 1979 revolution. Vice President JD Vance led the American delegation. It was apparently just one long marathon of a day of talks. The two sides reportedly sat down for over 20 hours straight, but at the end neither one had anything to announce and everyone flew home.

This week also saw the president of the United States threatening to commit war crimes in his war of choice with Iran. Even this wasn't enough for him, as he quickly moved on to threatening crimes against humanity. Thankfully, neither actually happened, because he chickened out at the last minute.

It's pretty obvious why I was reminded of this saying this week. The current situation is about as murky as can be, but it does seem as though Donald Trump could be considering a similar outcome. After militarily winning the war with Iran, the U.S. might just wind up "losing the peace," at least to some extent or another.

Instead, we'd like to focus today on some good news for Democrats. Elections last night in Georgia and Wisconsin brought further proof that the Democratic Party has the wind at their backs heading into this year's midterm election season. As Politico put it, "Democrats just had one of their best election nights since President Donald Trump returned to the White House. Again." That pretty much sums up the shift that has been happening ever since Trump took office.

Speaking of things quickly rocketing upward, this week the average national price of a gallon of gasoline blew through the "four bucks a gallon" milestone and hit $4.10 today. To which we can only say: "Ouch!"

All the questions, worries, fears, and concerns that Americans had before Trump spoke still exist. None have been answered or assuaged or explained at all. So while I had intended to spend time analyzing Trump's speech today, there's just no "there there" to analyze. It was a giant nothingburger of a speech.

Personally, I think it'd be amusing if Trump took to the airwaves tonight and boldly announced he was resigning the office of the presidency at midnight tonight. Then just before the clock struck twelve, he could put out a statement on social media saying: "April Fool's! Gotcha!"

Of course, this has always been Donald Trump's modus operandi to some extent, but it is much more apparent now that we're in what seems to be a prolonged war. Trump is now attempting a feint in this war, but nobody's really sure what is the feint and what will become reality in the next few weeks. Trump himself probably doesn't know, at this point.

Trump's numbers are bad and they just keep right on coming. Within a few weeks, we will get new official inflation numbers which will reflect at least the first few weeks of Trump's War, when the price of gasoline started to skyrocket. And just today, the Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development put out their new estimates, which aren't good. The O.E.C.D. is now predicting that the inflation rate in America will average out to a whopping 4.2 percent this year -- over a full percentage point up from their last forecast. So it wouldn't surprise me in the least to see the official U.S. inflation number climb well above three percent in the March numbers, and it also won't be a surprise if they top four percent by next month, either.

Donald Trump, our toddler-in-chief, is in the midst of one of those incandescent tantrums. His war isn't going anywhere near as well as he thought it would, and the fact that Iran has effectively shut down the Strait of Hormuz is making him apoplectic with rage. He is now demanding that other countries of the world save him from his missteps, by sending their warships into the Strait to escort oil tankers and other ships. But he's finding that the rest of the world is not exactly leaping to help him out, which shouldn't come of much of a surprise to anyone, considering how he has treated all of America's closest allies up to this point.

Sorry, but we just couldn't resist. Trump was finally forced to fire one of the members of his cabinet, and it just couldn't have happened to a nicer person. Which is also pure snark, of course, because Noem was one of the most odious members of Team Trump by far (which is saying a lot). She even got yelled at this week by a fellow Republican for the heartlessness of the story she included in the book she wrote about herself, where she took the family dog out to the gravel pit and shot him dead. For good measure, she also shot a goat. Because of "leadership," or something.

That sounds cynical, but it's not even the most cynical take on things. Hardcore cynics point out that Trump seems to launch his military attacks whenever the Epstein files begin to get some traction in the news again. We're not sure if we totally buy into that thinking, but it is worth considering, seeing how Trump does almost everything for the stupidest of reasons.

(Sigh.)

The defining feature of this past year has been -- just like it was in his first term -- the continuing cycle of being so aghast at Trump's planet-sized ego, flailing insecurities, and toddler-grade tantrums and thinking to oneself: "Well, it surely can't get any worse than this!" -- only to wake up the next morning, read the headlines, and find out that yep, it sure can get worse, in ways you would never have imagined in a million years, pre-Trump.

This article is mind-bendingly long enough, so we're not going to bother with any other introductory words at all. Instead, let's just get right to the awards, shall we?

Also as always, it is long. Really, really, insanely long. You have been warned!

And also as always, we'll be back again next Friday for [Part 2].

The most recent glaring example of this is how Russia has (up to this point) been declared exempt from Trump's global trade war. Trump has been all over the map with his tariff threats, but one part of it has remained consistent: a 10 percent tariff on all countries, no matter what. This initially included every country Team Trump could find on a map -- including one solely populated by penguins -- but not Russia.

But the subject deserves more than just snark, since it is a serious decision Trump has to make -- and it would be an equally tough decision for any U.S. president to have to make. Entering the country into a war is always a serious decision, and it should be treated as such by all concerned.

The stakes are high. There are valid arguments to be made on both sides of the issue. Whatever Trump decides, it will come with some degree of risk -- both for the country and for him politically.

Which is why today we're going to devote this column to pondering how bad things could really get in Donald Trump's second term in office (rather than sticking to our normal Friday format). Some things will probably not be as horrifically bad as Democrats now think, some things will indeed be precisely that bad, and some things will be even more horrific than anyone's imagining right now. And my apologies, because this is not an attempt at making a comprehensive list of predictions but rather just free association, what might be called initial thoughts.

Where do House Republicans go next? They don't have a clue. They'll think about it over the weekend and then get back together Monday night to hold another closed-door meeting to nominate another poor sap to try to become speaker. Maybe it'll be one of the previous selections? Kevin McCarthy or Steve Scalise certainly don't seem far-fetched, at least at this point. But it could be someone new as well. Lots of people could run, who knows?

I must confess that I'm somewhat at a loss for words today, as I sit waiting to see whether the networks will cover Trump's "indictment party" speech live, when he gets back to his New Jersey golf club. He's not just going to give what he will see as a triumphant speech, he's also holding a fundraiser. Because Trump never misses a chance at grifting his rubes one more time.

At first glance, it sounds like a James Bond story: classified top-secret documents, information on nuclear secrets, a Pentagon attack plan against a foreign country. But when you dig a little deeper, it sounds not like Bond but rather Mr. Bean... or perhaps even the Three Stooges.

Biden is now several steps closer to being sworn in as America's next president in less than nine weeks, as state after state certifies that Biden did indeed beat Donald Trump. Georgia did so today, and several other important states are slated to do so on Monday. By December 8th, all states will have done so and appointed their electors to the Electoral College.

Yesterday, the United States of America took the lead on the world stage, but not in a good way. We're now the most-infected nation on the planet, and are now the number one epicenter of the COVID-19 coronavirus outbreak. Today, the number of cases in this country surpassed 100,000 -- a grim milestone indeed. We still have a ways to go before we are the country with the most deaths from the disease, but at the rate we're going that won't be long either.

The Democratic field now has 18 people in it, as Wayne Messam formally dropped out but Michael Bloomberg formally took his place. Other than Bloomberg, the candidates who are still running but who didn't appear last night are: Deval Patrick, Michael Bennet, Steve Bullock, Julián Castro, John Delaney, Joe Sestak, and Marianne Williamson. The ones who did appear on last night's debate stage: Joe Biden, Elizabeth Warren, Bernie Sanders, Pete Buttigieg, Amy Klobuchar, Kamala Harris, Cory Booker, Tulsi Gabbard, Andrew Yang, and Tom Steyer. Hopefully, by the next debate, that entire list will have shrunk a bit more, but these days you never know -- maybe it'll even get bigger!

But since these columns are always not only monstrously but downright scroll-bar-defyingly long, let's just dive right back into the 2018 McLaughlin awards, shall we?