-CW

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"The Decider and the Duck Hunter"

The son was stumping steadily,
Stumping with all his might;
He did his very best to spin
His troubles smooth and right--
And this was odd, for in Baghdad,
Lights STILL were off at night.

Pundits spun so frantically,
Because the favorite son
Had told the people of the world:
"The Mission has been done"--
"This war coverage," they said,
"Has gone and spoiled the fun!"

No one had found WMD,
The oil-pipes were dry.
There was no mushroom cloud, because
Uranium's a lie:
In Darfur there lay many dead--
Enough to make God cry.

Decider was the President,
Karl Rove was his right hand;
George howled like anything to see
Gay marriage in the land:
"If only you would vote for me,"
He said, "I'll take a stand!"

"If we blame the blamers' blame,
And change the subject here,
Do you suppose," Duck Hunter said,
"That it could get us clear?"
"Don't doubt it," said Karl Rove,
Arranging Swift Boat smear.

"O Voters, come reelect us!"
Decider did implore.
"Unless again you vote us in,
Osama wins the war:
He will attack us yet again,
Unless we get four more."

John Stewart simply looked at him,
And parsed the words he said:
John Stewart called out each foul lie,
And shook his heavy head--
"These words are not reality-based,
Prince George has got no cred."

But Fox News pundits hurried up,
All eager for the speech:
Their words prepared in focus-groups,
Their talking points in reach--
"We must elect George once again,
For victory's in reach."

Values Voters followed then,
They mobilized the Base;
And thick and fast the Swift-Boat Past
Did muddy Kerry's face--
And truth became a frothy mess,
And so they won the race.

Decider and The Duck Hunter
Went on a year or so,
For victory, they'd set the bar
Conveniently low:
And then the price of gas did leap,
And Big Oil profits grow.

"The time has come," The Voters said,
"To talk of many things:
Of hurricanes--and suicide-planes--
Democracy--and kings--
And how the debt is rising up--
And why John Ashcroft sings."

"But wait a bit," Duck Hunter cried,
"Before we have our chat;
The War is not over quite yet,
We've got no time for that!
Heck of a job, Brownie-boy.
Now, let's make taxes flat..."

"A new drug plan," Decider said,
"Is what we chiefly need:
And Social Non-Security;
For borders, we've no need--
Now if you're ready, America,
It's time Iran should bleed."

"But not Iran!" the Voters cried,
Turning a little 'blue.'
"With all our troops stuck in Baghdad?
A stupid thing to do!"
"There's no 'plan' yet," Decider said.
"Does Spanish bother you?"

"I have earned much capital, you see,
And avenged the Towers!"
The Duck Hunter said nothing but
"Victory is ours:
Americans should all watch Fox--
Each day, for several hours!"

"We can't be wrong," The Pundits said,
"Iran will make a bomb,
And then we must attack them,
To keep our country strong!"
Duck Hunter said nothing but
"Insurgents won't last long!"

Compassionate, Decider was:
"I deeply sympathize."
With laws of fear he gathered up
Those with Arab ties,
Secretly renditioning
A pack of tortured lies.

"Progress!" said the President.
"We make more every day!
November, vote Republican!"
But their Base just looked away--
And this was scarcely odd, because
For gas, we all must pay.